Category: Crime
Three-Year-Old Shoots Father: “Purple Dinosaur Told Me To”
ANAHEIM, CA (GlossyNews) — On March 17, 2010, a three-year-old boy shot his father, an LAPD officer, with a service revolver. The shooting occurred in the family’s pickup truck at a traffic stop in Anaheim. Investigators are still trying to…
Mystery Man Wanted for Questioning in Slaying of Model
MIAMI, FL (GlossyNews) — Police in Miami have released a sketch of a suspect wanted for questioning in the case of a local model found burned inside a trash bin. The 26-year-old African American model was found last month; police…
Lil’ Wayne Sentencing Postponed for Hemorrhoid Surgery
NEW YORK – Once again an attorney for Lil’ Wayne has requested a postponement of the rapscallion’s jail sentencing for gun possession. The sentencing had been scheduled originally for last month, but Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to a request…
Wounded Rapist Demands Tougher Gun Control Laws
Philadelphia, PA (GlossyNews): An unnamed accused serial rapist demanded tougher gun control laws from his hospital bed in suburban Philadelphia earlier today, just hours after being admitted by police for a gun shot wound incurred while attempting to assault a…
Prisoner Brutally Beats Cellmate With Prosthetic Arm
Rochester, NY – Hugh Buttnum, an inmate at the Monroe County jail in Rochester, NY, is in critical condition after a fellow inmate ripped off Buttnum’s prosthetic arm and beat him with it. Evidently, inmate J. “Johnny” Johnson was not…
Alleged Rapist Sues Intended Victim for Pain, Suffering
Johnny “Handsome” Marzetti sits in a jail cell awaiting sentencing for the attempted sexual assault on Donna Fuctwidder. He’s looking at 7-15 years in state prison for his crime. But Johnny’s had some time to put together a lawsuit of…
Shocking Evidence Of The Real Relationship Between Sherlock Holmes And His Aide Dr. Watson.
The long ongoing question of just what sort of ‘relationship’ there was between Sherlock Holmes and his ‘companion’ Dr. Watson has finally been found. The odd part of it is that the answer has been right in front of our…
City Sued For Providing Free Drugs To Residents
Philadelphia, PA – Recently the Associated Press disclosed that the Environmental Protection Agency plans on collecting 1 million pills during an Earth Day initiative aimed at the people who live around the Great Lakes. They also stated that there is…
Fir Trees Being Kidnapped Mysteriously Around The World
Thousands of fir trees have been mysteriously disappearing from forests around the Western world in the last few weeks. Forest rangers making their rounds have been shocked to find many conifers, mostly young ones between three and six feet tall,…
Khymer Henchman Claims Genocide ‘Hard Work’, Demands Freedom
Former Khmer Rouge prison chief Douche Bagg today shocked the UN-funded war crimes tribunal by demanding to be released on the final day of his trial for crimes against humanity, shoplifting and double parking in a restricted zone. The UN’s…