Category: The Rest
McMahon Wants to Wrestle for Senate Seat
Half Nelson Bay, CT (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Republican Linda McMahon challenged Democrat Richard Blumenthal to wrestle her for the Connecticut Senate seat rather than wait for the outcome of the November election. McMahon,…
Boehner Promises Nothing From GOP
Orange, OH (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. House leader John Boehner vowed that if the GOP captures control of Congress this November, it will do “absolutely nothing for as long as necessary.” Speaking to an…
“Fast for Annorexia” March Seen as Self-Serving
Thousands descended on the National Mall, but none felt as snubbed as the local D.C. vendors. By the days end, despite more than 87,000 in attendance, sales were lackluster at best. “I haven’t sold a single sausage,” said Sal the…
Habitual Self-Pleasurer Admits What He Likes About Playboy’s Kendra
Nothing.
Newlyweds Disappointed by “Oral Expectation” Gap
Sarah and Ted Jgorksen of Providence, Rhode Island dated for almost two years before tying the knot last Sunday in a small traditional wedding held in the Elmhurst neighborhood. While Ted assumed the $5,200 diamond solitaire would ensure a lifetime…
FOX News Has a Tough Time Telling the Black Chess Pieces Apart as Well
A big stink arose this past week when Greta van Susteren, intellectual extraordinaire of FOX News (indeed perhaps the only one. How did she get in there?) mistook Shirley Sherrod, the black Georgia State Director Of Rural Development, with California…
BP Oil Reaches Five Flags Pensacola, Danica Patrick Spins Out, Obviously
The oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico has spread east as far as Pensacola, Florida, where the Five Flags race track is located. In response, noted NASCAR also-ran and female driver Danica Patrick showed her solidarity for her suffering…
The Comic Book of Anne Frank
AMSTERDAM (GlossyNews) — The Anne Frank House Museum, hoping to bring the lesson of Frank’s life and death to a new base of readers, launched the publication of the historic diary as a comic book. Spokeswoman Annemarie Bekker said the…