Author: Reidicule
Report: 10% of Facebook Users Unaware Others Can See Their Posts
PALO ALTO, CALIF — In a recent Pew Research Center study, a reported 10% of Facebook users are oblivious to the fact that other people can see what they write. The study alleges that of that 10% of naive morons,…
Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte
WASHINGTON — In a surprise move late last night, President Obama declared “Prima Nocte,” invoking the controversial 16th century feudal statute that allowed noblemen to “call dibs” on any newlywed bride during her first night of marriage. According to the…
Taco Bell Elects to Take USDA Meat Test Pass/Fail
IRVINE, CALIF — Taco Bell announced in a statement last week that they have elected to take this year’s USDA meat test on a pass/fail basis, rather than risking another poor performance on the agency’s traditional grading scale. According to…
Norm Abram Goes on Mass Sawing Spree, 11 People Left With Sheds
CARLISLE, MASS — Celebrity Carpenter and Former Host of PBS’s long-running “New Yankee Workshop” series Norm Abram allegedly went on a mass sawing spree late last night, leaving 11 people with beautiful, finely-built sheds, sources report. Experts claim that all…
Boy Scouts Allow Gays, Ban Hetero Troop Leaders
IRVING, TEXAS — In a surprise move yesterday, the Boy Scouts of America announced plans not only to accept homosexual troop leaders, but furthermore to ban heterosexuals from all leadership positions. RIGHT: Founding Scout Master Freddy “Flip” Antouchyerson. (CLICK TO…
NRA Slams Birth Control: “We Must Fight Semen With Semen”
WASHINGTON — In a prepared statement, the Neonatal Responsibility Association (NRA) announced their official stance on the highly contested birth control debate. According to the statement, the NRA argues that “any attempt to infringe on a woman’s right to bear…
ABC’s “The Taste” Signs Starving Ethiopian Child as Season 2 Judge
LOS ANGELES — Following Tuesday’s season one finale, producers of the ABC reality cooking show The Taste announced yesterday that they have finished a deal to replace Celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre on the judging panel next season with Random Starving…