Author: Fuzzy Duffy
Palin Inspires Tea Party Audience with “Tell Off” Stories
Ashland, KY (GlossyNews): Former Alaska Governor, Sara Palin, continued her outreach to the Tea Party movement this week, speaking before a group of Tea Party activists outside Ashland. Palin was warmly received by the $150 per ticket Tea Party rally…
Congress Proposes Replacing 2010 Election w/ “Psychic Estimate” Index
hWashington, DC (GlossyNews): House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, met with the press and Congressional leaders today to discuss replacing the 2010 mid-term election cycle with a “psychic estimate” of the voters’ true intent. “There are just so many distractions and inherent…
GM Introducing Biodegradable Cars
Detroit, Mich. (GlossyNews): General Motors Corporation announced today the release of a line of high-tech vehicles designed to meet the demands of environmentally conscious consumers, as well as the new federal green-technologies regulations. According to a company spokesman, “The new…
Schools Expand Zero Tolerance Policies to Include “Lack of Spirit”
Framingham, MS (GlossyNews) — Prominent public education leaders from across the nation called for an across the board expansion in Zero Tolerance policies in public schools today after a two week symposium. The leaders found the mandatory expulsion and suspension…
Does Brown Pack the Gear to Replace Kennedy?
Boston, MA (GlossyNews) — Democratic National Committee campaign strategists are rushing today to explain the unexpectedly strong showing by Republican Scott Brown in the Massachusetts special election to fill the seat of the late Senator Edward Kennedy. Republic pundits and…
Collectible Quarters Offered as 3rd World Nation Pay
Philadelphia, PA (GlossyNews): Officials from the United States Mint announced today the inception of a new commemorative quarter program based on the popular “50 States Quarter Collection.” The program, already expanded to include all United States’ sovereign territories, the Presidents…
Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend….
Med Breakthrough: Airport Body Scans Have Effect “Similar to Viagra”
Washington, DC (BNSE): Department of Homeland Security and Transportation Safety Administration officials gathered today to announce what they call “a stunning medical breakthrough.” The agencies, tasked with the safety of the United States mainland and passenger air travel, claimed that…
Decline in Shopping Related Deaths Worries Retailers
New York, NY — Cautious retail executives sounded a note of warning on late Christmas Season sales despite early indicators of a slight increase in consumer spending over last year. According to these industry leaders, there is “a certain lack…
House GOP Deny Irrelevancy: “Bull Nipples Would be VERY Useful”
Washington, DC: Congressional Republicans reacted angrily today at accusations of abject incompetence and political irrelevance from both within and outside the party. Republican leaders denied their perceived lack of any direction for the country in terms of ideas or policies…