Author: E. Williams
E-Trade Baby Blowing Through Money After Commercial Campaign Canceled
The precocious baby known for turning millions on to online trading, and making millions for himself, is reportedly blowing through his fortune at an alarming rate since E-Trade pulled the plug on the commercial campaign which made him famous. ‘E’,…
Russian Jets Enter Ukraine Airspace, Top Gun’s Maverick Dispatched to Region
Washington, D.C. – As tensions continue to escalate between Russia and Ukraine, Russian President Putin has ordered his fighter jet pilots to flirt with crossing into Ukrainian airspace to tempt a response from the smaller country. In response, President Obama…
Flo to Use Charm to ‘Perk-Up’ Obamacare
Flo, the permanently perky face of Progressive Insurance, has been named new Secretary of Health and Human Services replacing outgoing HHS czar Kathleen Sebelius. President Obama made the announcement last night. The decision was a tough one and President Obama…
Lorax and Al Gore in Twitter War Over Earth Day
The Lorax and Al Gore have become engaged in a bitter war of words on Twitter as to who has done more for environmental awareness and the observance of Earth Day. The Former Vice-President threw down the gauntlet yesterday when…
Ultrasound Shows Chelsea Clinton’s Unborn Child is a Conservative
(Great Falls, VA.) – To the horror of the entire Clinton clan, ultrasound results have proven that Chelsea Clinton is pregnant with a conservative child. The family was overjoyed at the initial news of the pregnancy but, upon learning of…
Harry Reid Takes on Bundy Family, Al says “Let’s Rock”
(Nevada) – Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has doubled down on his name calling by referring to the Bundy family as ‘domestic terrorists’ after the Bundy home became a lightning rod for controversy involving unpaid taxes. The situation began…
Obama Delays Holidays Until After Election
(Washington, D.C.) – On Friday, President Obama pushed back making a decision on the long debated Keystone XL Pipeline until after the upcoming 2014 midterm elections. Worried about upsetting his core constituencies, Mr. Obama decided that while he had his…
MSNBC Host Enters Rehab for ‘Tingles’ and Slobbering Affection for President
(Palm Springs, CA) – After nearly six years of denial, MSNBC talk show host Chris Matthews, has finally checked himself into rehab due to the “tingles” he experiences whenever he sees, hears or meets President Barack Obama. Matthews has been…