Author: BC Bass
Greece Accidentally Receives Loan for Musical
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — On May 18, 2010, the economically embattled country of Greece received 14.5 billion euros ($17.9 billion USD) in aid from what Greek bankers presumed to be the European Union. A banking official close to orchestrating…
Bono Undergoes Emergency Back Surgery for ‘Atlas Syndrome’
MUNICH, Germany (GlossyNews) — U2 front man Bono underwent emergency back surgery on May 21, 2010, while preparing for the American leg of the band’s “360 Degree” international tour. U2, having sold an estimated 150 million records, is arguably the…
Former Hollister Co. Executive Shot Dead by Arizona Police
NOGALES, AZ (GlossyNews) — The Southern California headquarters of Abercrombie & Fitch, which owns the Hollister brand, issued a statement today confirming the death of a controversial former executive. Hugh Humbert-Lardwick, a regional vice president from the United Kingdom, made…
‘Survivor’ Producer’s Wife Voted Off Planet
MEXICO CITY, Mexico (GlossyNews) — Emmy nominated reality television producer Bruce Beresford-Redman has been detained as a suspect in the killing of Monica Beresford-Redman, his wife. According to officials in Cancun, the body of Monica Beresford-Redman was found in a…
LEGO City Mayor Implicated in Sex Scandal
LEGO CITY, U.S.A. (GlossyNews) — Since its founding in 1978, Lego City has suffered through a history of controversial expansion, interminable redevelopment and what most residents consider “pure chaos.” Accusations of illicit gerrymandering — executed through back door political favors…
Foursquare Survivor Badge Accidentally Awarded to Hundreds of ‘Unworthies’
AUSTIN, TX (GlossyNews) — Around 12:40 p.m. EST on March 22, the coveted Foursquare Survivor badge was awarded to hundreds of people simultaneously. Event organizers attributed the mass distribution to a glitch. Traditionally, the Foursquare staff have been very secretive…
James Randi Announces He’s Gay — Proving Psychics Don’t Exist
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL (GlossyNews) — James Randi, the renown 81-year-old skeptic, has escaped from the closet after keeping his sexuality a secret for more than 70 years. Randi, formerly known as The Amazing Randi, began his career in Canada as…
Documents Show Auschwitz Death Camp Doctors Living on Food Stamps
WARSAW, Poland (GlossyNews) — Archaeologists working to better understand the reign of Hitler and his Third Reich have discovered food coupons for some of the notorious SS doctors at the Auschwitz death camp, including the sadistic Dr. Joseph Mengele.
Apple’s Jerry York Dies: Replaced by Jerry Sargent
CUPERTINO, CA (GlossyNews) — Jerry York, Apple director and long-time adviser to billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian, has died. Sources at Apple Inc broke the news on Thursday. York joined Apple’s board of directors in 1997, a time when most consumers…
U.S. Supports North Korea’s Execution of Official Who Ruined Economy
PYONGYANG, North Korea (GlossyNews) — During a time when brewing unrest and financial insolvency are destabilizing the country, North Korean officials have executed Labor Party Chief Pak Nam-ki before a firing squad as punishment for a bureaucratic blunder.