Author: Ashley Watson
Statusbook Saves Facebookers Time by Forcing “Like” Updates
MISSOULA, MT—A new website has made it even easier for Facebook members to update their status through a rating system that allows members to test their updates before posting them. Members who are too brain dead from lurking on the…
Obama Boldly Removes Aioli Spreads from White House Menu
WASHINGTON DC—In an effort to prove that decreasing the U.S. deficit will require shared sacrifices, President Obama announced on Tuesday that he will eliminate aioli spreads from the White House Menu. “Let me be clear. We are not limiting these…
Local Cat Blames Indoor Lifestyle for Catnip Addiction
BURLINGTON, VT—Yesterday, neighborhood cat, Nella Watson, revealed that she’s finally on the road to recovery after a long battle with Catnip Abuse. When asked what started her addiction to what’s colloquially referred to as “Nip” in the Feline community, Nella…
Darkness Therapy May Increase Depression in World’s Happiest Country
DENMARK (Glossynews.com International) –A new study currently underway in Denmark could prove that prolonged exposure to darkness may improve symptoms of merriment and cheer in people who are “entirely too happy.” While the evidence is inconclusive, researchers say that the…
Lose Weight Fast with Cigarettes and Cocaine
Study Shows Baby Boomers Look for Apathy, Social Inequality in Brands
This week The Gibraltar Group released the results of a study that indicates that Baby Boomers have given up on the economy ever recovering and continue to buy products that reflect their lack of hope and apathy toward the situation….