Mandelson McScandalson’s (Pathetic Excuse for?) Last Stand

Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown is getting lambasted by demands to have a bit of a Cabinet reshuffle and make the current incumbernt Foreign Secretary, David Millipede, Chief Tea wallah while elevating Business Sec’ Lord Peter Scandalson to the vacated post in a pot-boiling row that risks tearing apart his already rag-tag government of political losers and last ditch wannabe’s. Read more Mandelson McScandalson’s (Pathetic Excuse for?) Last Stand

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Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch

Long having been regarded the financial heart of the Middle East, Dubai rocked world markets this week with announced uncertainty on servicing some $60 billion in debt. So today’s further information was heralded as calming news that will facilitate market stability.

Dubai Financial Ministry spokesman Adam Lambert explained, “Dubai regrets if anybody took it the wrong way, but it was a necessary first step towards a greater plan.” Read more Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch

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Con-Com’s Phone System Thwarts Jailers, Criminals Not So Much

Sir Jarvis Armitage-Shanks, the chairman of HM Scallydale Prison’s Independent Monitoring Board, told the media that illegal phones are fuelling jailbird drug trading and turning honest penitentiaries into hotbeds of crime.

Pontificating to reporters that the only way – in his unqualified opinion – to stop prisoners using cellphones to order pizza deliveries – and arranging for their outside gangs to pull off robberies, and snuff witnesses vital to prosecutions in ongoing trials, is to employ anti-terrorist technology to jam the incoming and outgoing mobile phone signals. Read more Con-Com’s Phone System Thwarts Jailers, Criminals Not So Much

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Ask Hank: Republicans = Swoony Churchgoers

Hey Hank,

It’s become a toss-up for me here and thought you could help out, if you want…
I am and have been an atheist for most of my life. I just can’t get into the whole swoony churchy thing.

But, I have become a rather confirmed political convert and want to get a job in the next political campaign.
I lean quite heavily to the right, so I need to know which church group would be the best for me to join up with –Mormon, Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian? Are there others? Read more Ask Hank: Republicans = Swoony Churchgoers

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American Democracy (What is it, What Does it Mean?)

When Alexander Hamilton signed the Constitution of United States in 1775, he defined democracy and freedom in the following way: “The sacred rights of mankind, [human freedom,] are not to be rummaged for, among old parchments, or musty records. They are written, as with a sun beam in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself; and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power.” Read more American Democracy (What is it, What Does it Mean?)

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