Breach in Time/Space Continuum Opens Portal to all 9 Circles of Hell, CERN Not Involved

Man recently donned the cloak of Creator and assumed the role of God.

His manipulation of ORMEs, the esoteric sciences and applied quantum technologies saw Thomas Moore’s dream bastion of perfection a reality manifested.

Utopia Inc., the next best thing to Heaven on Earth, opened its Pearly Gates to those who could afford the luxurious environment and opulent lifestyles it offered. Read more Breach in Time/Space Continuum Opens Portal to all 9 Circles of Hell, CERN Not Involved

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Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale

Amidst a growing maelstrom of rumour, gossip and scandal Cameroon’s security chief Rastus Chuckabutty has finally admitted some 300,000 people hoping to get jobs in the police force have written, phoned or e-mailed him directly begging for preferential treatment – most of them his relatives – or someone related to someone who knows someone else who knew someone his mother used to buy voodoo dolls from. Read more Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale

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Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

The nominees for the upcoming AVN Adult Video awards were released today, and in surprising move, the Adult Academy has nominated President Obama for Best Male Performer.

It should be noted that the president is receiving the nomination without performing a single on-screen thrust, causing considerable controversy within the industry. Dick Ironrod, who is also nominated for the award, expressed concerns that Obama had the requisite experience. Read more Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

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Animal Farming: Is there a higher moral order of humanity guarding us from unfettered, greed-driven capitalism?

Nature and life have always had its own rhythms, seasons, and quantities when it comes to growth and follow a “invisible hand”, which guides the global harmony and balance. However, when technology came into the scene of nature, it has brought with it a completely new set of logic to impose on life and nature – a much more efficient and reliable schedule and quantity. By going against the original rhythm of original, harmony of nature and life and demand from it mankind’s own wants and terms — technologizing nature — is essentially an act of rebellion. ‘Without this rebellion, we would all still live nasty and short lives of toil, drudgery, and discomfort’ (Mokyr, viii). Read more Animal Farming: Is there a higher moral order of humanity guarding us from unfettered, greed-driven capitalism?

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