A local handgun is being praised as a hero for its actions in stopping an armed robbery attempt at an Oak Cliff convenience store. Police responded to a silent alarm activated by cashier Isabella Howdy and found the forlorn felon arguing with the Glock 19. According to Ms. Howdy, the gun flatly refused to fire, thus initiating a heated exchange between it and the robber.
Police apprehended the suspect without a struggle and booked him into Lew Sterrett Jail. Jock Hackamore, of the local NRA chapter, took custody of the handgun. Police lauded the heroism of the pistol in standing up to its misuse.
I wish more firearms were as courageous as this Glock!
said officer Newt Holland.
(No, not this one!)
I mean, just imagine if more of these guns just took responsibility for their actions, instead of blindly following the wishes of their owners…
Dallas City Councilwoman Alice Chalmers echoed the sentiment:
Hopefully this is the first step in political and social activism by handguns. I encourage all law-abiding firearms to follow this example and, ‘Just Say No to violence.’
Councilwoman Chalmers stated she was forming a task force to educate handguns, shotguns and rifles of their right to refuse to harm innocent people.
I’d like to see more leadership, especially from the semi-automatic rifles and shotguns. They are the most powerful members of the gun community, and in the words of Spiderman’s uncle, “With great power comes great responsibility.
The handgun, which goes by the name Jerry, issued a brief statement, saying:
I never wanted any part of an armed robbery. I’m not that kind of handgun. This jerk stole me from my owner who only kept me for home protection. I don’t consider myself a hero, I was just doing what was right!
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