Earlier, President Obama introduced his plan to expand the International Community.

He briefly and compassionately considered Palestine, Vatican City, the future Greater Israel, China, Japan, Russia, EU, India…

But none of them meet the high standards of the Global Village Patriarchs. Read the full story

Announcer: With Dick and Janey on vacation this week, we will be rerunning an earlier interview with Mr. J. Foghill Bottom, the State Department’s resident specialist on diplomatic etiquette.

Because President Obama was criticized early in his presidency for bowing to foreign royalty, this interview was an attempt to find out what exactly is U.S. policy on presidential bowing.

Janey: Welcome, Mr. Bottom.

Dick: Or, to put it a little more in the vernacular: Bottom’s up! Read the full story

LOS ANGELES — Asked his opinion on whether or not the U.S. lifting specific sanctions on Iran in exchange for Iran’s cooperation in partially halting their nuclear program was a prudent decision, dubstep artist Skrillex weighed in, telling reporters, “WURRRRGRAAWWWWLLLLWICKETYREEEE-EOOWWWRR.” Read the full story

Much of the conflict that resulted in the First World War was fostered in the various alliances that countries bound themselves to in the years leading up to the conflict.

In the Information Age, a similar dynamic had predicated itself in social media relationships between various countries and their leaders, leading to tenuous diplomatic bonds and disputes that threaten to push the world to the brink of war. Read the full story

Authorities have now surrendered hope that blizzard conditions would dissuade the tens of thousands now holding candle light vigils in Cleveland, Ohio. The protesters stand defiant in the face of wind chill factors that would make a polar bear cuss his momma.

Apparently inspired by recent events in Egypt, people have taken to the streets of this teeming metropolis, their ranks increased by seemingly ordinary citizens who’ve traveled great distances to join in this historic moment. They want KISS in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Read the full story

Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West.

In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the backing of the US and England, grew to prominence in North America. Canada became a ‘strongman’ and a policeman that the West could rely on in a sea of continuous turmoil in a region troubled by the growing influence of capitalism and rock and roll. Read the full story