Tag Archive | "rape"

Spousal Rape: An Old Wife’s Tale


Old wives from around the globe are chiming in on VA State Senator Richard “Dick” Black’s assessment on rape in the marital bedroom. Black claims that spousal rape is not a punishable crime due to the fact that the couple sleep together and well, dammit, the man is entitled to take what is his.

Marilyn Notsfast, an old housewife from Roanoke, VA gave her reasons why she says Black is right. Read the full story

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Batman to Spend More Time in Jail than Rapists


Gotham— Crime rates have dramatically dropped in this great city since the emergence of Batman. With the government’s best in the pockets of Gotham’s worst, it seemed like the role of the law was to look the other way. That’s why we needed someone outside of the law to fix things.

Yes, the citizens rest easier under the watchful eye of the world’s greatest detective, vigilante, and furry. “I’ve gone two years without having to cancel a credit card,” says May Gitrobbed (33) mother of two and dark alley enthusiast. Read the full story

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NRA: “F*ck It, Why Have Laws At All?”


WASHINGTON — In a decisive move, federal lawmakers are expected to push a bill through both houses that would repeal every gun control law that ever existed in the U.S. dating back to the Articles of Confederation.

According to sources on Capitol Hill, this new legislation comes on the heels of an NRA-funded campaign to bombard congressional Email accounts relentlessly with pro- 2nd amendment memes. Read the full story

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Cops to Use Womb as Rape Evidence Locker


Swee Chung Ting, an alleged rape victim in New Mexico, is seeking to charge the state for use of her womb as an evidence locker.

It began with submission of legislation to make abortion illegal in New Mexico in cases where pregnancy results from rape or incest, on the grounds that such abortion would constitute “tampering with evidence”. The prosecutor in Ms. Ting’s case apparently felt that new legislation might not be required, and filed an injunction against Ms. Ting to prevent her from having an abortion, on the same grounds. Read the full story

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Congressman Todd Akin: I was raped and did not become pregnant


Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri fueled the flames of controversy about his statements on “legitimate rape” when he revealed to this reporter that he was himself a victim of rape and had not become pregnant.

“The criticism that I am ignorant about rape and its consequences is totally unfounded,” he declared.

“I was raped and did not become pregnant, and that is why I am more qualified than most to speak to this issue.” Read the full story

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Dominique Strauss-Kahn Claims Luck Helped in Choosing Perfect Victim


Dominique Strauss-Kahn smiled broadly for the cameras as he and his wife left a NY courtroom Friday after being told by a judge that he was being released on his own recognizance. The dark veil of accountability for his actions in allegedly raping a hotel maid had lifted somewhat, allowing Strauss-Kahn to enjoy his own Independence Day celebration. Read the full story

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