7 Perfect Reasons Not to Do Anything About Climate Change: (Courtesy of the Republican Establishment)

Arrogance & Presumption!

The Created is not the Creator.

By trying to overwhelm the mighty forces of nature, you are giving glory to creations of God, mere mortal flesh; and not the Creator himself.

Stop playing God!

You’re down there and we… er, he’s up there!

Intelligently Designed, Designed to Be Intelligent!

If God meant us to reduce our carbon output, he would have put filter funnels in our asses.

I’ll Bring the Popcorn!

The Apocalypse is happening soon; it would be really disappointing if The Lord God Almighty came back and the world was just ‘mildly disturbed.’ Clearly, we have to make the world as messed up as possible, otherwise what’s the point?

Anyway, the book of Revelation says that people were burned by the heat and cursed God for the wrath. And because I’m God’s real favourite, I know more than you, I know exactly what that means, how it should happen, and most importantly of all…

What I’m gonna do about it!

So show some damn humility for once in your life!

Quotes or it Didn’t Happen!

Human beings were told to be stewards of the Earth; it doesn’t say anything about trying to “stop global warming.” If God wanted us to stop global warming, he would have said so, clearly and specifically, in the original King James English spoke by Jesus Christ himself!

Old Chestnut I

Satan put the carbon in the atmosphere to trick us.

Old Chestnut II

God put the carbon in the atmosphere to test our faith.

And finally…

The Eternal Conundrum

If there is carbon in the atmosphere, how come there is still oxygen as well?!

 

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

1 thought on “7 Perfect Reasons Not to Do Anything About Climate Change: (Courtesy of the Republican Establishment)

  1. If God expected us to evolve why didn’t he give us a functional brain instead of a gastrointestional system that produces greenhouse gases?;

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