Tag Archive | "global warming"

Melting Glaciers Making “Really Nice” Ice Cubes for Inuits


GREENLAND–Last year, a melting glacier known as the Petermann glacier calved off a sizable chunk of ice approximately twice the size of Manhattan.

And the Inuit couldn’t be happier.

Apparently, the Greenlandic natives have been benefiting from global warming trends for quite some time. Much of the ice that has been breaking off of these glaciers is going directly into their handmade water pouches. Read the full story

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Posted in EnvironmentComments (3)

Arizona to Experience Worst Coastal Flooding in Decades


TEMPE — Meteorologists agree that the storm surge, combined with the seasonal monsoon already covering Arizona, could mean the worst flooding coastal Arizona has seen in more than a generation.

“Well we’ve already been seeing rainfall of over one inch per day,” said Sahid Gupta, Arizona native and senior secular meteorologist at the New Day Horizons Center for Wellness. “Which is normal for this time of year, but the storm surge is threatening our coast now.” Read the full story

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Posted in EnvironmentComments (1)

Kyoto Protocol – What Has It Achieved? (INFOGRAPHIC)


With the Kyoto Protocol’s expiration in 2012, InfoProductReview.org have taken CO2 emissions data from the UN and PBL to assess its impact so far. Sadly, the data shows that while there have been more successes that failures amongst nations with Kyoto targets, global emissions as a whole have continued to soar.

This guest story comes from Jamie Rose, an artist and part-time green activist concerned with global climate change and greenhouse gas emissions. Read the full story

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Al Gore’s Carbon Footprint Visible from Space


Spectacular new images of Earth were released by NASA yesterday detailing various aspects of our magnificent blue and green marble.

One photo in particular stood out above the rest: a crystal clear shot of billions of carbon molecules in the form of a giant footprint covering most of North America.

Scientists would have been completely in the dark as to the owner of the footprint if not for the letters “GORE” on the bottom of the foot. Read the full story

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Posted in EnvironmentComments (5)

Unseasonably Warm Weather A Reminder Man Didn’t Recycle Bottles Last Month


INDIANAPOLIS – A recent spate of unseasonably warm weather, which has seen December temperatures peak in the mid sixties, has acted as a timely reminder that local man Dennis Kowalski never got around to recycling those damn bottles last month.

Though he routinely separates his trash into paper, glass, and general waste, the 34-year-old – reportedly overwhelmed by last month’s Thanksgiving – admits that he may have accidentally lumped everything together in the same garbage bag(s). Read the full story

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Candidates Politicize God’s Subtle Climate Change “Reminder”


GlossyNews.com – “Look, I tried,” God grumbled, “Picked the most populated part of the country, some of the most contentious states in the election and altered both of their campaign routes, but did they listen? Noooo.”

In a last, desperate attempt to create some political discussion on climate change, God sent Halloween hurricane Sandy, which made landfall a week before Election Day. It flooded states, stopped mass transit systems, and at least 4 people didn’t get their mail on Monday. Read the full story

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Posted in Environment, ReligionismComments (2)

God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days


INDIANAPOLIS – As temperatures dropped Tuesday to a low of 39° F across the Midwest, God announced that global warming will be put on hold for a few days, while he just tests out a few things.

Eager to continue the mild fall-winter transition that Hoosiers saw in 2011, The Almighty said that residents in Indiana could expect to see no more than fourteen days of decreased temperatures, insisting that global warming will recommence in earnest on or around October 20. Read the full story

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Posted in ReligionismComments (3)

Oy Vey! Seinfeld to Play Romney in Biopic


Jerry Seinfeld has been cast to play Governor Mitt Romney in a yet unnamed feature film.

How hard can it be to play an empty suit?

Ask Jerry.

“The hardest part will be keeping up with this guy. Romney, he’s the gymnast of politics. He flips, he flops, he flips again. He’s all over the place.” Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (4)

Global Warming is a Scientific Fact… Like We Care


It is now an established scientific fact that global warming is taking place around the world. You can see it everywhere. Glacier National Park is melting. Huge slabs of ice in the Polar Regions are dropping into the sea like so many gigantic ice cubes into some cosmic scotch and soda.

The ocean is steadily rising. Pretty soon if you live in Florida you’ll need an inflatable raft to get to your kitchen for a snack. Read the full story

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Posted in Environment, Opinon/EditorialComments (4)

The War Against the Environment Has Yet to be Won


“We have to destroy the environment as quickly as we can.”

These are the findings of the Movement for Environmental Sabotage and Subversion (MESS).

The position of MESS is that the attempt to preserve and protect the environment and to lessen the environmental impact of human activity is irresponsible.

RIGHT: Photo courtesy of Jonathon Blakeley. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

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Mathematician Accused of Using Imaginary Numbers in Global Warming Report


After a three-week investigation, the Congressional Investigation Committee has unanimously concluded that Kansas mathematician Dr. Bernard Dietrich did intentionally and maliciously use imaginary numbers in the equations used to generate the data in the report he issued a month ago on global warming. Read the full story

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Global Debt Crisis Eases Worries About Global Warming


NEW YORK – Despite suffering through one of the hottest summers on record, Americans are finding that their previous concerns about the possible long-term effects of global warming have been nearly eradicated as a result of their newfound fears about the global debt crisis. Read the full story

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Posted in Environment, PoliticsComments (2)

Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames “Damn Kids on Lawn.”


HAVANA, Cuba – (GlossyNews) Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, delighted Cuba’s Parliament with his first public appearance in over four years. A strong, healthy, and vigorous Castro amazed Cuba’s leaders and the assembled press corps alike with his deep grasp of international issues and prophetic warnings about the course of world events.

During his brief address, Castro warned that the world “was sitting on the brink of a nuclear holocaust that could engulf every nation on the planet and lead to the extinction of our species.” He then promptly placed the blame of these events on “all those damn kids who are always running around my grass. Read the full story

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Gore Claims He Invented the ‘Happy Ending’


BALLSTON, Virginia (GlossyNews) — Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon. Read the full story

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Litterbug Fined While BP Oil Disaster Looms


Tippy Toe, LA (GlossyNews) — Amos Moses, an old Cajun who lives by his self in the swamp, hunts alligators for a livin, he just knock ‘em in the head with a stomp, was fined 100 clams yesterday for tossing an old soup can from his truck window in plain sight of a Louisiana Sheriff.

As the black tide known as the BP oil disaster crept closer to shore, it was easily seen behind Moses as he stood on the side of the gravel road Read the full story

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British Petroleum Celebrates Earth Day with Huge Oil Spill


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