Category: World News
Limbaugh Rushed to Hospital Drugs Not Mentioned
Honolulu, HI (GlossyNews) — Acerbic Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital this morning for what doctors say is an overload of ‘bile’. Limbaugh’s press spokesman Carson Cobain said he had little information. “Rush usually…
Newscasters Appeal to FBI to Create Easy Nicknames for Terrorists
The latest attempt at terrorism by Nigerian nationalist, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallabhas, is the straw that broke the camel’s back in America’s newscasting business. In a rare show of agreement between the top media outlets, news commentators from every major prime…
2009 Glossy News Erratta … err Errata & Errors a Plenty
The Glossy News, in an effort to bring you the finest, most accurate and comprehensive news available, has compiled this errata information after a review of articles published in 2009. Although we do technically wish to apologize for any errors…
In Rio de Janeiro, Buy Guns, Get Free Homes
A Brazilian gun dealer has offered to give a free home to the first five customers of the New Year if they buy any quality rifle from his gun shop. Jose Arma de Fogo says he got the idea from…
Is the US Losing its Patience with Canada?
Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West. In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the…
Wounded British Soldiers Ward Off Prime Minister’s Visit
The UK Office of the Prime Minister today announced and welcomed the Army’s 1,000th recruit of the year – sixteen-year-old Private Angus Munt from Glasgow’s Pikey Park Sink or Swim Council Estate. Conversely the winner of the ‘First Century’ Squaddies-in-Bodybags…
Iraq Stands by “Magic Bomb Detector” Technology
Iraqi security forces have adopted a revolutionary new bomb detection device, according to the New York Times. The hand-held device is several orders of magnitude smaller than devices available from “reputable” manufacturers, but American critics have their collective panties in…
The Funny Side of WW2 – Que?
According to a recent survey undertaken by the government’s Ministry for Wasting Time and Money the British youth of the 21st Century are possessed by a plethora of misconceptions concerning Germany, World War Two, the Nazi party and the Holohoax….
Chinese Politburo Hits New Highs of Paranoia
The day prior to the kick-off of September’s Melbourne International Film Festival its executive director Bluey McBruce received a most bellicose telephone call from a certain Mr Flip Flop Fong – the senior official at the Chinese consulate in the…
BNP Boss Falls Victim to Lynch Mob
It was a moment 5,000 mixed race and ethnic Brit’ protesters – stark-bollock naked, daubed in traditional blue woad and massed outside the London BBC TV Centre – had spent much of the day trying to stop until they got…