Category: Human Interest
Financially Strapped Families Turn Kids Into Meal Tickets on Reality TV
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GLossyNews) — What is it about opportunistic dads (and moms) who see their kids not so much as a mouth to feed but as a meal ticket out of poverty? First there was Falcon Heene, the 6-year old…
Testimony Begins in Sloth Abuse Trial
TEMPLE, Texas (GlossyNews) — A jury of seven men and five women are listening to eyewitness testimony in the trial of impatient businessman Ron Martin, who battered 90-year-old Doris Sloth with a bag of frozen okra after she took twenty…
Study Reveals Jobless Feel Frustrated
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Delores Delgado, Under Assistant Secretary for the Obvious today held a joint news conference with NIH director Dr. Gary Carey, to announce results of a five year research project many found alarming and disturbing. Per the…
Unemployed Veteran Forgets Mother’s Birthday
BUFFALO, New York (GlossyNews) — In what Tri-State area Tea Party leaders are calling further evidence of our culture’s collapse, 38-year-old Lance Kilbane, an unemployed welder, has forgotten to honor his mother on her birthday. Speaking to reporters while completing…
Realtor Can’t Suppress while Showing Rush Limbaugh’s Manhattan Condo
New York, NY – By now, most people have seen the news that Rush Limbaugh is selling his New York Penthouse condo and moving out of New York due to the high rise in taxes, we recommend to avoid all…
Misanthrope Mistaken for Misogynist
David Whittle was mistakenly labeled as merely a woman-hater. His fellow employees were relieved to find out that he is a complete asshole to pretty much everyone.
Airline Passengers Share Drop-Down Tray without Consulting Lawyers
The non-verbal, un-written agreement was established quickly to provide two airline passengers with shared-use of the center seat’s drop-down tray.
WWII Veteran Seeks Asylum from Arizona
Prescott, AZ (GlossyNews) — Captain Dudley Engelbrook, 91, of Chino Valley, Arizona is seeking asylum in Greece, Iceland, and several other European countries. Years of shoddy health care combined with the loss of veterans’ benefits, says the proud veteran of…
Glossy News Journalist Missing in South America
San Vincente, Bolivia (GlossyNews) — Reporters Without Borders spokesperson Kay O’Varian today announced fears about the fate of legendary Glossy News writer Blake Pennywhistle. “We all know Blake. He’s like an Edward R. Murrow in our profession, except half-drunk all…
Liberal Becomes Violently Ill While Going Undercover at Patriot Gathering
Springfield, Mo (GlossyNews) -– The weekly meeting of a group of local patriots came to an abrupt halt last Tuesday when its members came flying out of the United Baptists Freedom Church reception hall retching and cursing and holding their…