Category: Music
Concert Venues Legally Required to Have Separate Restrooms for Trans-Siberian Orchestra
PHILADELPHIA — Mayor Michael Nutter recently signed into law a piece of legislation requiring all concert venues within the Greater Philadelphia Area to provide separate restrooms for members of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, sources report.
Indiana Family Shocked to Find It’s Not 1987
GOSHEN – As most Americans were busy celebrating the coming of 2012 at midnight last night, the Albrecht family of Goshen, Indiana were surprised to find that they had not just ushered in the year 1987. Rocking away the night…
Britney Spears Delivers Message to John Boehner: “Work B**ch”
WASHINGTON — In an odd turn of events yesterday, Pop Icon Britney Spears weighed in on the current Capitol Hill gridlock with a message aimed squarely at Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH). According to Spears, “You better work…
Miley Cyrus Stoned For Being A Whore in Saudi Arabia
The private jet of Miley Cyrus, the young formerly squeaky clean Mouseketeer turned rich white trash singer, developed electrical problems flying back from a concert in India and was forced to make an emergency landing in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. The…
Motown Returns To Detroit – Whole City Returns To Life
The return of the famous soul music legend Motown Records to its birthplace Detroit has had an ebullient effect on the bankrupt city. From the very first announcement of its coming back, people were running out their doors to tell…
*80% of “Pirated Tracks” Already Legally Owned
The RIAA and their cronies like to claim tirllions in lost record sales, mere pennies of which the actual recording artists eventually see, but Maybeth Barker of Parketh, Illinois is part of the trend that bucks the system. I downloaded…
Morbidly Obese Man’s Wish to Crowd Surf Ends Disatrilariously
Jacob “Don’t Use My Last Name” Wilberson of Pocatello, Idaho, has had one dream since watching grunge videos in the 90s; to crowd surf. It came to fruition this week as it also came crashing down with as many newtons…
New, Unpublished Song Tribute to John Wayne By Johnny Cash Discovered – ‘A Boy Named Marion’
Johnny Cash historians have discovered a previously unknown Cash ballad amongst his files that might be his next posthumous hit. It appears to be a rewrite of his big ’60’s hit “A Boy Named Sue” that is a tribute to…
The Illuminati Responds to Shooting by Rap Artist During Pledge Week
A Richmond Virginia man is being held without bail after his marijuana fueled attempt to sacrifice his friend in order to join the Illuminati. The man, an aspiring rap artist believed that by killing his friend he could join the…
Elvis Impersonator ‘Sounds Uncannily Like Elvis Impersonator’
BLOOMINGTON – Friends and colleagues of Elvis impersonator Arnold Mason agree that the 47-year-old sounds and looks uncannily like hundreds of other Elvis impersonators. A resident of Bloomington, IN, Mr Mason has performed Elvis hits up and down Indiana for…