Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)

You ever met a girl you thought was really awesome? Like awesome enough you might even love, but you were afraid to say it? Well not saying it can hold risks as big as that of over-sharing your feelings.

Maybe you guys have hung out a bunch, maybe you’ve just met, maybe you haven’t even met yet, but have made passionate love in dangerous and regrettable ways for days. No matter the case, this comic is for you. Read more Man Falls in “Like”, Girlfriend Unamused (comic)

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Domesticated Dog Claims to Slay Rabbit, Citation Needed (comic)

If you’ve ever let your cat outside, you’ve surely been presented with a trophy kill. Maybe a mouse, a bird, or a smallish neighbor child. Fair enough, lesser creatures need to be selected out.

Dogs, on the other hand, are more likely to bring errant poo into your house, or maybe another dog you’ve never seen before. What can we say, you have the best Snausages in town. Read more Domesticated Dog Claims to Slay Rabbit, Citation Needed (comic)

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Why did the hipster shop at the thrift store (comic)

Hipsters are odd, unpredictable sorts of people. They do things that at the same time seem needlessly expensive and perfectly hobo-esque. There’s just no predicting them, and they like it that way.

So why did the hipster shop at the thrift store? You may think you know the answer, but even if you do, and even if you’re right, you’re surely wrong, as they shift so quickly with the winds, so as never to be in-the-moment cool. Read more Why did the hipster shop at the thrift store (comic)

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How Many Ways Will You Take Shots/Shoots in New Orleans (comic)

We’ve all been in party situations, even if we haven’t been in unbridled places like Matazlan, Cabo or Ibiza for Spring Break. No matter, you likely know the value of a shot, even if it is second hand.

This is the story of a couple taking a weekend to New Orleans, their plans for enjoying it, and the madness that may ensue. Read more How Many Ways Will You Take Shots/Shoots in New Orleans (comic)

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If You Had Your Life to do Over Again (comic)

If you had your whole life to do over again, what would you do differently? Would you never agree to date that woman who turned out to be your evil ex-wife? Would you not have children? Would you have refrained from dumping a steaming mess in your boss’s trash can after the Christmas party?

We can’t go back, but we can imagine what it would be like, had we such an opportunity. And best of all, moving forward, we can live our lives as if that’s our new reality. Read more If You Had Your Life to do Over Again (comic)

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You Are Seriously Racist (comic)

Sometimes, as a white person, you just want to speak your peace. You don’t feel your being racist, and maybe you’re right, though it’s statistically unlikely.

Just open your mind and speak your peace and let the cards fall where they may… yep, you’re a racist.

I don’t know how the dark guy got his head distorted, but nobody jumped up to stop me. Calling me a racist for having accidentally crafted him in such a way is de-facto reverse racism… How dare you! Read more You Are Seriously Racist (comic)

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40th Birthday Completely Disappointing (comic)

Imagine if you threw a war and nobody came? Well that would never happen, since you’d just invade their asses and claim them as your own. But you can throw a 40th birthday and watch it dissolve into nothing but wasted shrimp platters and countless empty chairs.

This comic is about exactly that. I’m not 40, but that’s not the point, and this comic isn’t quite rooted in reality.

I could go on for days, but I’ll spare you and just say that you can SCROLL DOWN to see the full comic.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

84-birthday-party

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? (comic)

It’s the age-old question. Seriously, how many of a particular group does it take to change a light bulb?

In my house the answer is somewhere between zero and one. If it’s me doing it, it’s one, if anybody else is in charge, it’s zero, because it just never happens. Have so many burnt out in the house it just makes no sense. We poke ourselves in the face constantly in the dimness of our laziness. Read more How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? (comic)

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Jesus May Appear in Many (exclusively white) Forms (comic)

Throughout the new testament, especially after the crucifixion, Jesus appeared to different people in different form. It would be easy to laugh this off as confirmation bias in the face of obviously damning evidence, but Jesus doesn’t believe in damnation as much as salvation.

I’m something of an expert on salvation. It is literally my middle name. I’m not joking. It’s printed on my license. I know what I’m talking about. Read more Jesus May Appear in Many (exclusively white) Forms (comic)

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Have You Tried Our New Dog Food? (comic)

If you’ve ever watched television, you know there’s always a new product on TV trying to make your dog’s smile brighter, her coat shinier, and her trot that much more trotsome… but can you believe it?

This was inspired by my buddy who is a very successful feed rep in the northwest, though I’m sure he’d prefer I don’t call him out by name. Read more Have You Tried Our New Dog Food? (comic)

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Relationship Bound to End in Failure (Comic)

Ever feel like you’re in a relationship for all the wrong reasons, or in the right relationship for all the right reasons, but with the wrong person? This web comic knows exactly how you feel.

Click on the comic to enlarge it and see it full size

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Alcoholism and Mommy Issues Meet in the Crosshairs (comic)

If you’ve ever had the opportunity to tele-commute, you surely know the joys of being drunk at work. Today, our resident cartoonist Brian K. White takes it to a new level by adding it to a whole ridiculous layer of parental forsakenness.

My mom loves grand-daughters. Loves them to bits. Takes them to Disney Land, keeps them overnight, you name it. Even the 2yr-old daughter of a girl I once dated was taken to California… but my sons? No such luck.

Click on the image to see it full-size.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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I Met a Hotty on Reddit (comic)

Oh man, this “girl” I met is just so awesome. We have the same interests and everything. I tell her what I like, then about 5-hours later she writes back with remarkably specific things about my interest. Like as if she’d just Googled it and fed me back a bunch of random lines.

But this is Reddit, and liars are simply not permitted. I can’t say definitively that we’re going to be together forever, but I have a pretty strong suspicion. Read more I Met a Hotty on Reddit (comic)

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Jesus Forgives (almost) Everything (comic)

Did you know your sins can be absolved? Did you know your conviction can be overturned in the afterlife? Even if you’ve been sentenced to 15-consecutive life sentences, once you die, you’re absolved and free. That’s the power of Jesus.

You don’t have to live virtuously, just accept Him as your lord and savior. You can continue shooting smack, smacking your woman, and womanizing your neighborhood children… just so long as you love your Christ, accept him as the one true son of God, and maybe throw a few bucks at the church. Read more Jesus Forgives (almost) Everything (comic)

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How Much Really Is That Doggy in the Window? (comic)

We’ve all heard the jingle, but really how much indeed is that doggy in the window?

This age-old question deserves an answer, even if the asker is clearly suffering from some sort of chemical or mental impairment. Seriously, how much money do you want for that doggy in the window?

I’m sure there’s a right answer in here somewhere, but I doubt either of those in this comic have that right answer. Read more How Much Really Is That Doggy in the Window? (comic)

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Toddler Tells Parent to “Shut Up” (comic)

If you ever have the misfortune of sprouting offspring, you’ll know what I mean when I say they can get pretty lippy, and mighty quickly at that. Pretty much as soon as they learn to talk, they know how to talk back.

You can punch them in the mouth, but if you do, send me your address, because I might like a few forceful words with you for having done that… they’re kids, you can’t get mad for their behavior. You mold them into who they are. If they swear, it’s because you taught them to swear. If they tell you to shut up, well, I’ll get to that. Read more Toddler Tells Parent to “Shut Up” (comic)

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