Don’t Let Jesus’ Death Be for Nothing (comic)

We learn from a very young age that Jesus died for our sins, so we can commit them without having to sacrifice animals to our Lord God to earn repentance. Still leaves a few questions, but my question is better.

If we don’t sin, why in the hell would Jesus’ death be worth it? I mean, this is the literal son of God. He died so we can sin without regret. If I don’t sin, I feel like I’ll go to hell just for that. Read more Don’t Let Jesus’ Death Be for Nothing (comic)

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Hot Ex Wants to Hook Up w/ Me (comic)

So you ever had that ex… you know the one. The one you never forgot. The one that always haunts your dreams. I guess you could call her “the one that got away,” even if it was you that forced her away.

So imagine you have that ex, and she’s approximately as hot as the sun, and roughly as kind as Ghandi. And then imagine she might like to have sex with you without the strings of relationship attached. If she can agree to that, you might have the most amazing weekends away you’ve ever imagined, but if not, well, she’s still mighty awesome.

What was I talking about again? Sorry, got lost in a fantasy.

I give up, just scroll down and see the comic Full size below.

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Even Atheists May Hear the Voice of Jesus (comic)

We are all able to hear the voice of God. Even atheists may hear His voice, though it may not carry the exact message that the faithful would like to hear.

SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE CARTOON.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

So surely no true Scotsman would behave like this, but what about the guy that hears the voice of Jesus, God, or the immutable Holy Spirit? For reasons unknown to me, we don’t call those who follow the words of their gods “crazy people” despite the fact that they hear voices in their head. Read more Even Atheists May Hear the Voice of Jesus (comic)

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You Know What’s Great About Being a Hipster? (comic)

We all hate hipsters, it’s universal. Even hipsters themselves hate the term as much as they despise being one, which is odd, since it isn’t yet “cool” to be a hipster, so you’d think they’d love it.

(SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE CARTOON FULL SIZE)

It’s all pre-cool, meta-cool and any other filler terms I can think of to put here to make this seem like an actual entry, and not just a graphical post. Read more You Know What’s Great About Being a Hipster? (comic)

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Gays Arguably Wrong, Polygamy/Sex Slavery Right (comic)

If we’re going to attempt to pass legislation based on the Old Testament, why stop at homosexuality. There’s a lot of really interesting stuff in the Old Testament, let’s cling to some of those too.

Sure, the rail against homosexuality continued in the New Testament, but it was only through Paul in Corinthians. That’s one apostle out of twelve. Jesus said nothing on the subject, ten other apostles were likewise silent, and Judas… well, we’re not really supposed to know what he said. Read more Gays Arguably Wrong, Polygamy/Sex Slavery Right (comic)

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Occupy Movement has returned in full force (comic)

If you ever wondered what happened to the Occupy movement, you’re not alone. It was once large and flourishing, but the police put a stop to that, and now it’s basically dead… but maybe it’s back, thanks to this recent development.

It’s true that the sentiments still remain, and that the wealth gap in America continues to widen, so why is it that Occupy has fallen by the wayside. Surely it has nothing to do with the fact that the police arrested so many people, hosed down the rest and tear-gassed the remainder. No, that’s surely secondary. Read more Occupy Movement has returned in full force (comic)

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How to Scam Your Local Missionaries (comic)

I get way too many missionaries at my door. It’s about every 10-14 days. Maybe it’s because I live in a largely immigrant area and they think we must all be suckers for something new.

But there’s a loophole. They swear to give out free money to those in need… they promise you don’t have to tithe unless you can afford it… and (unlike the Mormons) they don’t ask to see proof of your financial situation. Read more How to Scam Your Local Missionaries (comic)

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Ever Feel Like There’s a Transcript of Your Life? (comic)

We’ve all been there. Wondering who’s listening, how long our words will remain. Well this lady gets a tad literal with it. You have to see the comic to appreciate it, and well you should.

CLICK ON THE IMAGE to see it full size.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Why did the hipster cross the road – Part Two (comic)

In part two of this question, we dig deeper. It’s a question nearly as old as the one about the chicken. Why did the hipster cross the road?

Surely it wasn’t to get a better deal on a pair of pre-worn, faded slacks. Surely it wasn’t because there was a coffee shop on the other side of the road that was less trendy than the one he was already at. So what was the reason? Read more Why did the hipster cross the road – Part Two (comic)

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Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)

It’s a question nearly as old as the one about the chicken. Why did the hipster cross the road?

Surely it wasn’t to get a better deal on a pair of pre-worn, faded slacks. Surely it wasn’t because there was a coffee shop on the other side of the road that was less trendy than the one he was already at. So what was the reason? Read more Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)

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Atheists Offer Their Own Sunday Service (comic)

The Christians seem to feel they have an exclusive on morality, though the stats don’t bear it out. Why don’t the atheists hold their own Sunday service to preach whatever it is they do or do not believe in… well, maybe that can happen.

When it comes to questions of immortality, it seems the non-theists hold the advantage. Christians believe in a a life eternal, but fight like hell to avoid going there, no matter how pious their lives may have been.

So why not live it up a bit for the here and now. Why not make a community around reason, rather than Bedouin folklore and total superstition? Read more Atheists Offer Their Own Sunday Service (comic)

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How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)

If a tree falls and blah blah blah whatever does it meh who cares? Age old question with no good answers. Let’s face it, all of them are wrong.

But when the same question applies to a hipster, apparently there’s a whole new dimension to it. Mind you, it’s an incredibly shallow dimension, but the principle still applies, technically, I’m told. Read more How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)

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Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)

We’ve all been there. We’ve all asked our co-worker for an ounce of advice, and in too many cases, the question is misunderstood. This comic speaks precisely to that.

Click on the image to see it full-sized.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)

It’s a non-sequitur from the word “don’t go,” but apparently it’s been asked, so we’ll address it. How much do five hipsters weigh?

Surely this is the pressing question of our time, and one that deserves front-page news attention, even though it’s just a setup for a series of jokes at the expense of hipsters… well, at least they’re not real people. Read more How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)

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Extreme Couponing… It’s called Shoplifting (comic)

If you’ve ever wondered the best way to squeeze a few nickels out of your local retailer, there’s no better way than shoplifting. Sure you might go to jail over a $1.87 sample size of Jergins, but usually you’ll just damn the man.

This comic shows all the benefits and potential detriments, I assume. I haven’t actually read it. I find the comics on this site crass, so I don’t actually take the time to look at them. They’re a bit beneath me. Read more Extreme Couponing… It’s called Shoplifting (comic)

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Why was the boxer so funny? (comic)

Kids love to tell jokes in only two varieties; dumb and inappropriate. The one sadly falls into the “dumb” category, but hopefully redeems itself in the fourth act.

This is a fine example of why we shouldn’t leave jokes to children. Sure, they come up with the odd, random chuckle, but in the end, they really don’t know what they’re talking about.

And if this joke is any indication, they also have no command of a punch line.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

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