Archive | Books, Newspapers & Misc

Britain Stretched To Breaking Point, Satirists Leaving in Droves

Britain Stretched To Breaking Point, Satirists Leaving in Droves

British PM David Cameron today admitted that “in the clearest possible terms” Britain is currently stretched to breaking point.

Military involvement in Iraq, Afghanistan, and now Libya have undoubtedly taken a heavy toll on available resources, and the financial squeeze has resulted in Britain having no ships in its navy and no planes in its air force.

Add to this the crippling cost of welfare payments to the workshy, not to mention an exodus of wealthy retirees to the Spanish Costas, and the inevitable result is the implosion of a nation. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc6 Comments

Wonki-Leak #264: FOX News E-mail Instructs Interns on ‘Doctoring’ the Truth

Wonki-Leak #264: FOX News E-mail Instructs Interns on ‘Doctoring’ the Truth

WONKI-LEAKS #264 Our team of ever intrepid hackers have recently managed to intercept the following instructions being given to new FOX interns via e-mail as they help the massive television and radio giant prepare the scripted material for their pundits and ‘reporters’:

The basic maxim to the type of journalism that FOX News specializes in is- ‘You can dig up dirt on anyone.’ This should be memorized and utilized every day in your investigations. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment0 Comments

CIA Secret Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” Underway to Topple Taliban

CIA Secret Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” Underway to Topple Taliban

The CIA is mum on a new secret operation designed to take the Taliban out once and for all. The concept of Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” is based on this country’s own experience with realistic computer games. “It is mainly aimed at the male soldiers who know nothing but fighting since they were young,” said Lt. Col. Milton Bradley, no relation to General Omar Bradley. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, War Zone0 Comments

Glenn Beck Defeated by Boycott, Ratings, Sensibilities

Glenn Beck Defeated by Boycott, Ratings, Sensibilities

Dramatic drops in ratings combined with a lack of any reputable (top-of-market-paying) advertiser willing to be part of his show have finally taken their toll on Glenn Beck and his FOXNews program.

Beck offered a rare olive branch, saying, “…I want to verify something that is true,” which marked a noted departure for Beck, who normally avoids verifying the truth, preferring only espouses crazy conspiracy theories and conspicuous product placement for his gold, seed and Armageddon survival oriented sponsors. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Strange People2 Comments

Charles Manson Becomes Newest Member of Oprah Book Club

Charles Manson Becomes Newest Member of Oprah Book Club

Corcoran State Prison, CA- You see what they try to do. They get in our minds. We gotta beat them by being in our own minds. You’re not the thought police. I’m the f’ing thought police. It’s because I think. They don’t think, you don’t think, but I think. That’s right! I think! I Think that stupid nurse thinks she can just do that stuff to me, but ohhh! Have I got news for her! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc4 Comments

History of Snowboarding for Snowboarding History Buffs

History of Snowboarding for Snowboarding History Buffs

Most sports enthusiasts are under the mistaken impression that the fine art of snowboarding is a recent development. Of course, most people who believe snowboarding is a fine art in the first place are snowboarders themselves who have suffered brain injuries due to not wearing a helmet.

We at the Snowboarding Historical Research Institute wish to correct that falsified thinking and present to you our Concise History of Snowboarding Timeline. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc1 Comment

Tom Hanks Plays Bill O’Reilly in Upcoming Autobiography

Tom Hanks Plays Bill O’Reilly in Upcoming Autobiography

In an upcoming autobiography by Bill O’Reilly in which he prefers not to play himself, O’Reilly has hired Tom Hanks to step in and portray the “love him or hate him” darling of Fox News Channel.

“At first I thought, man, this is really weird,” says Hank about being approached to play Bill O in the book. “But the more I read about O’Reilly’s life, I realized this guy really needs help, so I said sure, why not?” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment2 Comments

AT&T / T-Mobile Merger Already Faces Grassroots Opposition

AT&T / T-Mobile Merger Already Faces Grassroots Opposition

With the recent announcement that despised telecom giant AT&T would be purchasing T-Mobile for $39 billion came the launch of a grassroots opposition movement dead-set against the transaction. If you have an opinion about the merger, this may be of interest to you.

The site is called www.StopThisMerger.com, and it looks like it is going to cover all the news that you need from now until the merger is completed… or it isn’t. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Books, Newspapers & Misc3 Comments

Rumsfeld Book Tour: Rocky Start

Rumsfeld Book Tour: Rocky Start

Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was often the center of controversy during decades of public service. It appears that tradition will continue in his new career as author. Rumsfeld’s recently released 800 page memoir “Known and Unknown” has set the publishing world afire, according to industry insiders. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc9 Comments

Crazy Woman Buys AOL for Fair Market Value: Negative $315 Million

Crazy Woman Buys AOL for Fair Market Value: Negative $315 Million

It’s already being called the deal of the century, and there are still eighty-nine years to go. Liberal news aggregator and alleged Gabor sister Arianna Huffington now owns AOL.

Media watchers are at a loss to explain what happened or why it happened. Some experts talk of a rapidly changing era of mass communication not seen since Steve Guttenberg invented the printing press. Others maintain the usually savvy Huffington has made a fool’s bargain this time. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc2 Comments

Art You Don’t Want Your Kids Doing For Show & Tell

Art You Don’t Want Your Kids Doing For Show & Tell

Being an ‘artiste’ is not an easy thing. At a book store I saw salmon print art that someone made by inking the side of a fish and pressing it to paper making a beautiful wall motive. I thought to myself “Hey, I can do something even better than that!”

Ever the intrepid doer I went out and got the necessary paper and utensils to set up shop myself. Of course, things always seem easier than they actually are. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest1 Comment

Conservatives Protest Olbermann Departure

Conservatives Protest Olbermann Departure

Isaac Newton once observed, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The truth of that is seldom seen more clearly than in the rough and tumble of American politics. And so it was this week as Tea Party activists launched candlelight vigils to return Keith Olbermann to the airwaves.

MSNBC’s unexpected removal of Olbermann from its prime time lineup is seen by many as a direct attack on Conservatives, and in the words of one Atlanta, GA protester “a damned dirty trick.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television2 Comments

Decision Points – The E-book (shocking revelations)

Decision Points – The E-book (shocking revelations)

George W. Bush’s best-selling memoir, Decision Points, has been described as an unconventional narrative and a “groundbreaking new brand of memoir.” Rather than detail his life in chronological order, President Bush chose to center on the “fourteen most critical and historic decisions in [his] life and public service.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc2 Comments

Media Boycotts Year in Review Stories, “It wasn’t that memorable a year”

Media Boycotts Year in Review Stories, “It wasn’t that memorable a year”

In a rare show of solidarity, all news outlets have agreed to cancel ‘Year in Review’ retrospectives for 2010. The late December fluff pieces have long been a staple of American journalism, due in large part to the low skill set required for compilation.

Said Rob Eubanks of the Houston Journal-Constitution-Herald, “Yeah, it’s always been a good way to get the interns out from underfoot. We usually get ‘em started in October digging through past issues. The kids take it real serious too; they’re hilarious like that.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc1 Comment

Wall Street Whizzes “Said Sorry”, Beg Public for New Nest Eggs

Wall Street Whizzes “Said Sorry”, Beg Public for New Nest Eggs

The front page of USA Today announced that ‘Five Wall Street Heavyweights say it’s time to “Get Back Into Stocks!”’

Yes folks, for those of you who are not unemployed or living out of a storage unit, it is time to take your hard-earned cash and put it back into the hands of those people who almost sunk the United States like it was the Titanic.

Hey, what the heck! It’s only money. It’s not like you need it to survive in our modern world. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job

Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job

The liberal media has fallen asleep on the job. They are supposed to be the “dominant media” according to certain people. But you sure could never guess it from the last few weeks. Too much has slipped through the grill. Maybe Ann Coulter is right- you just can’t trust them. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics0 Comments

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