Moviegoers Catch Up on Sleep During First Man

Fans of sleeping in comfortable movie chairs are excited about the release of First Man, the latest in the Hollywood tradition of boring movies about space.

“We’re proud of First Man. We think it’s the most boring movie about space ever, and that’s saying a lot,” said producer, Robert Weinbergersteen. “We know the fans go to space movies to get away from it all and escape their lives for a few hours. They really appreciate the opportunity to escape to a dark movie theater, sit in comfortable chairs, not be bothered by phone calls or texts, kids, bosses, spouses, and just fall asleep for two hours.”

Weinbergersteen said the sheer lack of action and utter boredom induced by First Man will have audiences in a deep sleep within the first 10 minutes.

With films like Gravity, Interstellar, Arrival, Prometheus, Contact, Hidden Figures, The Martian, Apollo 13, The Right Stuff, and others, Hollywood has perfected the art of making really cool subject matter like outer space mind-numbingly boring. And stressed-out, over-tired film fans really appreciate it.

Filmgoer, Tom McAdams, of Virginia Beach, raved about First Man.

“Wow, is all I can say. I was out like a light within the first two boring minutes. In the first scene, I could feel my eyelids get heavy, and then within moments, I had a hard time keeping them open. Soon, I was off in Dreamland and had to be woken up by the ushers, long after the movie ended,” said McAdams. “It’s so great to go to a movie and not be disturbed by exciting content and action.”

Laura Jones-Johnson, of Muskogee, also loved First Man.

“I knew this movie was going to be extremely boring, I could tell by the previews. So, I brought my pillow, a blanket, and wore my pajamas and slippers,” said Jones-Johnson. “But it exceeded my wildest expectations. I was bored out of my mind — it was even boring-er than my previous favorite boring movie, Gravity.”

Jones-Johnson said it couldn’t have come out at a better time as she had been extremely stressed lately.

“First Man was just what the doctor ordered,” she said.

Author: Dave Henry

Dave Henry is the author of Turtle Island, a comedy novel about an alternate version of America for young adults and juvenile old adults. Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Turtle-Island-Dave-Henry-ebook/dp/B06XNM9JYV

1 thought on “Moviegoers Catch Up on Sleep During First Man

  1. Agreed. Best sleep i ever got. I had finally come to terms with the fact that the movie Gravity with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney was going to be my sleep aid ’til the day I died, now I have a better option. I am definatly buying this movie the first day it comes out on DVD. Thank you Ryan Gosling!

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