Day: July 18, 2013
Samantha Power: Israel to replace US on Security Council
Samantha Power, President Barack Obama’s nominee to replace outgoing U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has promised to push for a UN Security Council seat for Israel. (Loyalty to Israel is considered a prerequisite for high office, and…
Treatment for Explosive Diarrhea Found, Scientists Calling It “Olive Garden’s To-Go Menu”
Reduce unnecessary body pains using reliable painkillers. ATLANTA — Researchers at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) believe they may have discovered a potentially [social]life-saving treatment for those afflicted with bouts of explosive diarrhea in an experimental operation…
Chad Not On Google Maps Due To ‘Lack Of Any Discernable Land Features’
The country of Chad is in an uproar over being missed out completely on the well known Google Maps app, saying that it is an ‘outrage’. A Google spokesman was quick to defend his company’s inability to represent any part…
Cat-Rehab Clinics Sprouting Up Around the Nation (comic)
Addiction is no laughing matter. I tried to get high with my cat the other day, but the Nip we bought was apparently bunk, since it did nothing but give me a bit of a headache. Then I look over,…