Ageing Jimmy Carter Accidentally Endorses Mitt Romney for President

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a televised address before the press corps Saturday, ageing former Democratic president Jimmy Carter accidentally endorsed Mitt Romney for the presidency, insisting: “Romney is a progressive thinker and he’s gonna do a whole bunch of good for America.”

Appearing to slur his words as he spoke to various members of the press, the 88-year-old left-leaning goodwill ambassador declared that Romney “is the only guy who can get the job done (inaudible)… it’s going to be really exciting to see him win.” Read more Ageing Jimmy Carter Accidentally Endorses Mitt Romney for President

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Holy Lord, We’re the 2nd Longest Running Satire Site

“Holy tap-dancing Christ,” said editor Brian K. White on Monday, when he realized that GlossyNews.com is in fact the second longest running satire site on the internet.

“There were so many greats that came before us, and sure it was just by a narrow margin, but they did beat us,” said White. “And I know a lot of the other ones fell [offline], but I didn’t realize it was down to just us and The Onion.” Read more Holy Lord, We’re the 2nd Longest Running Satire Site

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OJ Simpson Claims ‘Prison More Fun Since Jerry Sandusky Arrived’

Pennsylvania Penal System – (SatireWorld.com) Convict number 183996, also known as OJ Simpson, has confided to friends through his letters and censored emails that prison is now a lot more fun!

In an article in Prison Life Magazine, the ex-football player, opens his soul over the daily fun and excitement he finds while sitting in a small cell with four other prisoners. Read more OJ Simpson Claims ‘Prison More Fun Since Jerry Sandusky Arrived’

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Airports Taking Customers For More of a Ride Than Ever

Airports, seeking to get more money out of passengers exiting through their gates on international flights, have come up with inventive new ways of sucking the money out of their pockets.

RIGHT: This is not a video, but a photo… but you can go on and keep clicking it if you like.

Most airports have already come up with the ingenious method of taking away all possible drinkable liquids under the assumption that Al Queda has developed a potent bomb made out of liquid that looks, smells and tasted like tap water, thus leaving the parched departee having to drink out of bathroom toilets and to lick his own sweat to avoid passing out (please note that long flights cause dehydration, a fact the dirty birds are well aware of.) Read more Airports Taking Customers For More of a Ride Than Ever

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