GlossyNews.com – WASHINGTON, DC — Destruction wrought by Hurricane Sandy finds evangelicals staying home rather than casting a vote for Mitt Romney, Virgil Goode or Mickey Mouse.
The “Lord’s Will” movement initially organized to support evangelical voters in religious despair over casting a vote for a candidate with a propensity towards lying while holding steadfast to the basic value that honesty is a virtue; The Romney Doctrine.
RIGHT: Click the photo to see it in almost the exact same size, and still distorted by compression errors.
The group served as religious rapid responders to aggressively re-frame political stances taken by Mr. Romney as he “flip-flopped” on issues, rather than out and out lies, which he also resorted to, but only a last possibility.
Romney’s claim that Chrysler planned to move Jeep production operations to China — publicly skewered by Chrysler CEO Sergio Marchionne as “inaccurate” — was a particularly tough sell to religious voters who live lives based on faith, Velveeta and little else.
“The Bible says “Thou shalt not lie,” offered a Lord’s Will volunteer off the record. “Convincing good people to pull the lever for Romney after Chrysler refuted the statement as completely false, well, that I’ll always remember as my religious Jekyll and Hyde moment. To say I was conflicted after such blatant misrepresentation by a candidate is an understatement, but yet, my core beliefs remain in solid and direct opposition to President Obama, so at least we have that.”
In flies the black swan, known in political Audubon Society circles as an unexpected random event with potentially huge effects on a campaign.
“Hurricane Sandy is literally a sign from the heavens, the Lord’s Will, if you will,” continued the volunteer. “Evangelicals view President Obama as a good man, a sincere man, someone who shares with them two basic commonalities — family values and compassion. Between that and the subsequent story that the Romney campaign staged the Ohio storm relief effort, the re-frame effort took a dive. Evangelicals in good political conscience could not vote for President Obama, yet religious conscience would not allow them to pull the lever for Romney. I mean, how could they? The resulting personal compromise was a no vote for either candidate.”
Exit polls are reflecting a substantial downward trend among voters identifying themselves as persons of religious belief.
Tuesday fellowships are planned nationwide for voters of all faiths who chose to let their conscience be their guide, though Scientologists are encouraged to seek comfort from Tom Cruise.