Categorized | Politics

President Obama Trapped in Hope/Change Related Scandal

President Obama Trapped in Hope/Change Related Scandal – Washington D.C.- After many years of speculation, allegations arose concerning the Presidents abuse of Hope. While sources closest to the president could not confirm or deny these allegations, some senior level advisers have come forward with their suspicions.

“Sometimes, he just sits at the desk, dreaming of a brighter tomorrow,” says Senior adviser David Axlerod.

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“He’ll go on and on incoherently about equality and justice. that’s when we suspected he might be using hope again.”

The Romney campaign has come out lambasting the president as “reckless” and “out of touch with reality” as a result of the “overuse of hope.”

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This should not come as a shock to most, considering the GOP has long stood against the use of hope, often times supporting legislation trying to regulate the overall hope and faith of Americans.

“We can’t go having people openly using hope on our streets,” says Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan.

“What will we tell our future generations when they are starving because we used all of our budget on boondoggles like hope? We need to get hope off of our streets and bring America back to the principles that made it great.”

While most are criticizing the President for his blatant use, or over-use of hope, Vice President Joe Biden supported the president’s use of hope.

“So what if the guy used hope? Big deal. We all used to use hope back in the day. Hoping was the cool thing to do. Hell, what do you think got me through those train rides to Delaware?” he asked at a White House press conference.

He added “You know what? I’m hoping right now. That’s right. I’ve been juicing with hope.” This came as no surprise to anyone in the news room.

Mitt Romney stated to a crowd of fervent supporters, “I will let everyone know, as a Mormon, I have abstained from hope my entire life. I have enjoyed enough success in my life without ever once having to resort to hope, or even change.”

President Obama was first accused of hope abuse during his 2008 campaign, when it was claimed he was “constantly relying on it” and “couldn’t get enough of the stuff.”

The President has since denied the use of hope despite mounting evidence. The recent denouncements stem from seemingly erratic and uncharacteristically upbeat moods around the Oval Office. White House employees reported instances of unprompted singing, routine compliments, and euphoric demeanor.

“Watching a deluded adult hopelessly think the next day will be better than the rest is extremely unnerving,” stated 24-year-old White House intern Shannon Jacobs.

President Obama has not come out to formally address the charges being leveled against him, but is not helping his case with those who suspect him of hope use. His rhetoric constantly references visions of a futuristic progressive society when both sides of the aisle will come together for the common good of the American people. Clearly, he is hoping something fierce.


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I'm a stand-up comedian, author of "The Alphabet of Everything I Hate," an artist of sorts, and a rouge writer who's got a weird thing for oxford commas... like, really weird. Like three x's weird. Follow me @velezerraptor on twitter


3 Responses to “President Obama Trapped in Hope/Change Related Scandal”

  1. Mike Kelly says:

    I at least have to "hope" that Obama wins.

  2. John Cooker says:

    Didn’t the Roberts Court decide Hope to be unconstitutional under their watch?

  3. Mike Kelly says:

    You might be right on that, but I think they said change was okay. Oh now wait, they said chains were okay, not sure where they were headed with that.


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