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Jesus Imaginary Christ! Snake Worshipers for Romney

Jesus Imaginary Christ! Snake Worshipers for Romney

GlossyNews.com – LEXINGTON — Appalachian state exit polls reflect 47% of snake worshipers scribbled an “X” for Romney while others claimed disenfranchisement of their right to vote.

Election Protection logged a number of phone reports claiming a Kentucky polling place denied entry to registered voters carrying snakes.

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Jim Beam, licensed owner of a diamondback rattlesnake and snake-handler for the Church of God with Signs Following, spoke for the record.

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“”A’hm hotter ‘n then a dawg on a leash. I ‘llowed them city folk to get ‘customed to my gurl here, Sue, but they pert near busted outta thar, commenced to git the law on me. A’hm hot, hot, hotter ‘n the devil.” He shook his head. “It’s ma right to carry Sue on my person. My right ‘llowed under the Constitution and unner the Lord ma God!”

Polling officials indicated provisional ballots were provided citizens who refused to leave snakes, handguns and containers of moonshine outside the polling place.

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- who has written 32 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Ask anyone who knows me, I'd stop St. Peter's roll call to start a conversation. I'm a longtime Florida resident blessed with the gift of gab. Stop by and Talk to Me.

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One Response to “Jesus Imaginary Christ! Snake Worshipers for Romney”

  1. Mike Kelly says:

    It's a bad omen when you can't take your service snake in to vote with you. In some of these areas that would have been the smarter creature of the pair.

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