Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — Hundreds of current and former 2010 Census workers filed a class action law suit today in Federal District Court charging the United States Census Bureau with a pattern of unfair labor practices against its employees.

Specific details of the lawsuit were yet to be released at press time, however, lawyers for the plaintiffs announced to the press via conference call, “The Census Bureau has and is enforcing a series of unrealistic and impossible standards on its employees under the guise of standard business practices that make it difficult for its employees to excel. These standards, while enforced relatively uniformly, are arbitrary and capricious Read the full story

Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods, who have been sharing a bachelor pad in Palm Beach, have announced that they are going back to work.

Sheen said his main motivation was that he was going “stir crazy” spending 24 hours a day with Woods.

“You can only bounce a fucking ball on the end of a golf club for so long before it becomes fucking nerve wracking to everyone else in the apartment.” Read the full story

Hello again. Since good jobs are hard to find and higher ups are often looking for staff to trim, today I am going to share with you some of my favorite tips for looking important in the workplace.

We all know that in the workplace, perception becomes reality, i.e. the more important you look the more important people will think you are. So the tips I will share with you today are useful to all employees, from the lowest levels to the executive on the move. So here are my tips for looking important. Read the full story

The long lasting recession has caused in many a belief that money no longer has any value.

“What good is it to waste my whole day getting ready for work, going to work, working, going home from work, then spending the rest of my night recovering from work? I might just as well live in a refrigerator box and have my time free.” stated Eli Zacomin, laborer.

Many seem to agree with this idea. Read the full story

My Excuses For Being Late To Work

Welcome to my world. This is my first of hopefully many columns about life in the workplace. My column is dedicated to everyday workers. Thank you Mr. CEO, but I can’t event count how much you’re making. Read the full story

We’ve been known to miss some time from time to time, but never as much as we have in the past six-months. Between the big trip to Puerto Rico, dealing with the Puerto Ricans and dealing with all the things related to being back home, we’ve been swamped with unwinding as much as winding in the first place. Read the full story

Chicago – Looking for some peace and quiet to catch up on your reading? Try the bathroom at work. That’s right. Scott Edmunds (Not his real name), an accountant for an unnamed accounting firm in Chicago, recently read the entire Wall Street Journal and the entire NY Times while on the john at work. Read the full story

National Enquirer – Part 3 of John’s Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at President Obama’s compound. Before he was discovered and removed by Secret Service agents, Smith managed to tape several strategy meetings Obama conducted with advisors. In the following transcript, the President leads a brainstorming session on correcting the nation’s dismal employment situation: Read the full story