Tag Archive | "parenting"

“Will you take $750 for that 2013 BMW?” – Helping my teenager buy her first car


Recently I helped our younger teenage daughter, Emmy, purchase her first car. She had no idea how much used cars cost. I think she was hoping to afford a slightly used Lexus.

What she got instead was a lesson in how much cars actually cost. Emmy hates it when I mention her by name in my blog, so I will just call her “Miss Enthusiasm” – “M. E.” for short. Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz Zone, SocietyComments (0)

Better parenting through polling


When it comes to parenting, I don’t always make the best decisions. I’m not always sure what the right thing to do is in a difficult situation.

Like the time our elder daughter begged and pleaded with me to let her drive the car to the mall. It was a sunny day. Traffic was light. And she had behaved extremely well all week long. So against my better judgment, I said okay. Two minutes later, she smashed the car into a stop sign barely 100 yards from our driveway. A part of me can’t help but wonder whether in retrospect I made a mistake giving in to the incessant pleadings of an eight-year-old to drive my minivan. Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Opinion/EditorialComments (0)

A parent’s survival guide for when college kids come home for the holidays


Recently both of our daughters came home for the holiday break. Their return brought us a new set of parenting concerns. When kids go off to college, they suddenly consider themselves adults. They feel the old kids’ rules from their high school years no longer apply.

So it can be stressful to know how to parent your almost-adult child now that they’ve concluded they no longer need to listen to a word you say.

That’s why, in the most loving way possible, you should periodically remind them – roughly every two hours – about who is paying for their college and how you’d be delighted to spend that money on a Mediterranean cruise for yourself if they don’t clean up their act during their brief time home. Read the full story

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial, SocietyComments (0)

Toddler Tells Parent to “Shut Up” (comic)


If you ever have the misfortune of sprouting offspring, you’ll know what I mean when I say they can get pretty lippy, and mighty quickly at that. Pretty much as soon as they learn to talk, they know how to talk back.

You can punch them in the mouth, but if you do, send me your address, because I might like a few forceful words with you for having done that… they’re kids, you can’t get mad for their behavior. You mold them into who they are. If they swear, it’s because you taught them to swear. If they tell you to shut up, well, I’ll get to that. Read the full story

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Posted in ComicsComments (1)

Toddler Avidly Ruining Around Three Books A Week


INDIANAPOLIS – Despite the inherent allure of mainstream video games, Marvel action figures and children’s television, 3-year-old Nathan LaPlant still manages to find the time to graffiti, on average, three books a week, say the child’s parents.

While his older brother Dane is routinely playing soccer in the back yard, little Nathan is said to be more than happy just sitting down with a copy of Spot’s Greatest Adventure, a book he has now torn the shit out of seven times. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Kidz ZoneComments (1)

Center of Universe Needs Diaper Changing


INDIANAPOLIS – The center of local couple Jeff and Angela Paulson’s universe needed its diaper changing Saturday, after defecating all over its Pampers slip-on.

Even though it is routinely described as the “greatest thing in the world”, the multicellular organism also managed to spill juice all over the newly installed upholstery. Read the full story

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Posted in Kidz ZoneComments (1)

Indiana Mom Prepares Child For His First Full Day of No More Fun


INDIANAPOLIS – With around two weeks to go until the start of school, Indiana mom Annette Nichols is anxiously getting her 6-year-old son ready for his first day of what will ultimately be no more fun.

Enrolling him in classes at Brookside Elementary School in Indianapolis, Nichols, 37, has already accompanied her son, Evan, to a Back to School festival in an effort to teach him that his days of unbridled playtime are set to become increasingly rare as he gets older. Read the full story

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Posted in Education, SocietyComments (2)

Millions of Children Suddenly Disappear and Reappear While Getting Dressed


Parents are still coping with the devastation left by this morning’s widespread disappearance of children across the US. Panic swept the nation as millions of households counted the youngest members of their families among those missing.

“He was there one moment putting his shirt on,” explains Utah mother Blaire Page, “And then he was gone.” But this inexplicable phenomenon took an even more startling turn for the Page family just moments later. “There he was again. As if nothing had happened.” Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, Kidz ZoneComments (3)

Historic Accord Reached in Siblings’ Bitter Territorial Dispute


In major concessions by both sides, boy agrees to stop touching sister’s stuff in exchange for her ceasing to refer to him as “Snot Face.” 

SPOKANE, WA – Negotiators are expressing hopes for a new era of reconciliation and peaceful coexistence between eight-year-old Timmy Martin and his seven-year-old sister Lisa following a landmark agreement that resolved contentious issues of privacy and naming rights which had long divided the strife-torn siblings. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, Kidz ZoneComments (2)

Seuss Estate Files For Restraining Order Against Vuvuzela Manufacturer


HOOVILLE, Nova Scotia (GlossyNews) — The estate of Dr. Seuss has filed a restraining order against the manufacturer of the plastic horn known as the Vuvuzela, claiming copyright infringement. The order, handed down in the National Court of South Africa, calls for the immediate cessation of the manufacture of all things Vuvuzela. It also clearly shows the Vuvuzela was first mentioned in the little known book written by Dr. Seuss in 1964 entitled Consuela from Venezuela blows on a Vuvuzela. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, EntertainmentComments (1)

Financially Strapped Families Turn Kids Into Meal Tickets on Reality TV


HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GLossyNews) — What is it about opportunistic dads (and moms) who see their kids not so much as a mouth to feed but as a meal ticket out of poverty?

First there was Falcon Heene, the 6-year old boy whom his father, Richard Heene wanted everyone to believe was trapped in a mylar space ship floating perilously above the earth last October sometimes reaching heights of 7,000 feet. When the balloon touched ground hours later, there was no 6-year old aboard and what unfolded was a story of a family trying desperately to get their 15 minutes of fame and a television deal to solve some financial woes. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Kid’s Cold Hits Head Like Like Hammer of Snot


If ever I had reason to complain about something, this would probably be it. I mean, I would complain about it, if only I could, but I just can’t. I’m much too under the weather to protest. Still, I have some advice I can share by not sharing while I protest by not being actually able to protest. Read the full story

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Posted in HealthComments (0)

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