Tag Archive | "news"

Bill Maher to Debut “Overtime After Dark” Post-Post Show in 2014


HBO has enjoyed tremendous success with Bill Maher in their weekly late night slot, and even greater success in the web-only segment of the show “Overtime”, but now they’re taking it to the next level with “Overtime After Dark,” set to premiere in 2014.

“The show is good,” said Barry Goldsteinburg, acting agent for Bill Maher, “but with the continued success of Overtime we just felt it was the right time to take it to the next level.” Read the full story

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Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life


A SATIRE writer has become jaded after working on a ‘real’ newspaper.

The satire writer, who can not be named because I don’t want to, has revealed to Glossy News that she, erm… that she, or he, has found it increasingly difficult to write satire after their experience in a newsroom.

The writer said: “When I write satire, I often do so from my soapbox, which I sit on, alone, in the dark.

“It usually results in me mindlessly watching the TV or laughing at Internet memes, but after six hours my eyes get tired so I just write something stupid and call it satire.

“But my whole perspective on life has changed ever since I did some work at a proper newspaper.”

The anonymous writer says that they could not believe the stories that were news worthy and has subsequently found it difficult to write anything meaningful, the writer said: “I began to question everything, the price of cheese, why a cat on the train tracks is news, why blue is blue, my existence, everything.

“What place in this world do I have as a writer of satire, making up convoluted, bizarre scenarios, when out there, in the ‘real’ world, they were already happening and being written about?”

The writer pointed to examples of their work that had been written a few months, or in some cases, days, before actual similar events took place: “A good example would be when I wrote about hobos being government spies who were placed to track down minor crimes, turns out it is totally true, I read it in a newspaper.

“There was also the time I wrote about celebrity women being so unnatural that they were actually from an alternate reality. Yesterday I read a report in the newsroom that they are actually aliens sent here to slowly ebb away at our sense of decency and self esteem.”

Asked if they would return to satire, the writer said: “Screw it, I am through with all this, it is getting scary how close to reality satire can be. They say ‘you can’t make it up’, well they are right and that puts me out of a job.”

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2012 – The Year in Review, Part 2: July – December


We continue this week with Part II of Glossy News’ Annual Year in Review for 2012. If you missed Part I, don’t worry, you didn’t miss much. But you can check it out here. Let’s continue now with the Year in Review. Don’t skip ahead to December and spoil the surprise ending, okay?

July: The world becomes glued to their TV sets as the London Olympic Games take center stage. The Games’ most memorable moment comes during its Opening Ceremonies, when Queen Elizabeth makes a spectacular parachuting entrance into the stadium. Read the full story

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Kentucky Democrat Votes for Right to Complain


Newport, KY – Local liberal Michael Benton walked to the middle school gymnasium, and was greeted with laughter and an occasional jeer.

He greeted his Republican friends, gave his ID to the snickering old ladies behind the folding table, and filled out the only ballot for Obama in the city. Read the full story

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Election Day 2012, Wall-to-Wall Coverage… Seriously


GlossyNews.com – Welcome to GlossyNews’ election day coverage. We’re running about three stories per hour, though more during the peak of the evening, so keep it here and we’ll feed you, baby bird.

ALL ELECTION DAY 2012 HEADLINES

You want the news from around the country, and you better bet your sweet ass, we’ve got the news for you. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, PoliticsComments (10)

World Stops to Mourn Victims of Theater Shooting


“It was weird,” Hector Santiago, a thug for a Mexican drug cartel, said through a translator, “I could tell something just happened – something more important – because suddenly I knew I couldn’t kill this police officer; it would make news headlines and I knew that, for some weird reason, I just couldn’t do that.” Read the full story

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Posted in Crime, SocietyComments (1)

Shocking Crime Wave Blows Across Nation


A terrifying new criminal is on the loose and officials appear powerless to stop him. In a small town in the UK an elderly gentleman was thrown to his knees and robbed of his newspaper that he had only just purchased. Battered and shaken he shared his shocking ordeal. Read the full story

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Meghan Duam is Smrt


In a recent column in the LA Times, writer Meghan Daum explained to America that anytime President Obama stumbles over his words, it’s because of an “intellectual stammer.” Needless to say, doctors were amazed that they had missed this diagnosis and quickly had it added to medical books for validity.

The AMA presented Meghan with an award, and congratulated her on successfully managing to diagnose a person she’s never met personally with a, previously thought, non-existent condition. Read the full story

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Dennis Miller Offering Glenn Beck Sidekick Job


Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a ticket as a guest wise ass on both of those shows. He wants to be in front of the cameras so bad he can taste it, and now that Glenn Beck is being forced from Fox News, he sees it as his big chance to get ahead in the business. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, EntertainmentComments (33)

Conservatives Protest Olbermann Departure


Isaac Newton once observed, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The truth of that is seldom seen more clearly than in the rough and tumble of American politics. And so it was this week as Tea Party activists launched candlelight vigils to return Keith Olbermann to the airwaves.

MSNBC’s unexpected removal of Olbermann from its prime time lineup is seen by many as a direct attack on Conservatives, and in the words of one Atlanta, GA protester “a damned dirty trick.” Read the full story

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If McDonald’s Gets Gov Health Insurance Exemption, Who’s Next?


Rules are made to be broken and it appears that may be happening in the case of the fast food giant McDonald’s when it comes to complying with the new rules handed down under the Health Care Reform Bill. We knew it would only be a matter of time before large employers claimed their bottom line would be affected if they were to (gasp) be required to provide affordable health care insurance coverage to their employees. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, HealthComments (0)

‘The Onion’ Publishes an Issue of True Stories


Foxpeter Grove, MD (GlossyNews) — The Onion, America’s premier satire and humor newspaper, shocked the literary world today by publishing an issue of ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORIES!

The US’s flagship smart-ass site today reported on several newsworthy incidents that actually happened. On page two, the Great O reported on a woman who, about to take a snort of cocaine found that the powder formed a perfect picture of the Virgin Mary. The woman, however, was a devout Buddhist (except for snorting cocaine) and snorted it up anyway. Read the full story

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Obama Taps Dan Rather to Save Dying Newspaper Industry


In a surprise appearance at today’s White House Press briefing, President Obama introduced Dan Rather as his new “Dead Tree Press Czar.” Rather will be tasked to oversee the federal takeover of 27 failing liberal newspapers. “We cannot allow newsrooms favorable to our agenda to disappear simply because the American people no longer trust them,” the President said. “That would be honest, but stupid.” Rather chimed in with, “My uncle used to say, ‘When you got live fish in a barrel, catch the whoppers first and gut ‘em ‘fore you go back to the bait store.” From the back of the room, Democratic advisor James Carville called out “Hey Dan! Say what?”

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Google to Nationally Publish News Free


MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — In a publishing quadruple-whammo punch, Google today announced that it effectively had taken control of the major news corporations in the US not owned by either The New York Times or Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. — but including Tribune Co. and Sun-Times Media, Chicago; McClatchy, Seattle; Gannett in Maryland, Delaware, and Eastern Viriginia; to name a few. Over 35 companies in all sold their stock to the Google Cash Machine. Read the full story

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