Leaked TTIP Treaty: U.S. Must Win the Eurovision Song Contest

AMSTERDAM – According to secret terms of the TTIP treaty, recently leaked by Greenpeace Netherlands, the U.S. must finally be allowed to enter the Eurovision Song Contest.

“Excluding the U.S. from the Eurovision Song Contest is a clear violation of free trade,” said U.S. trade negotiator Mickey Cant. “Europe could use a little bit more American know-how when it comes to pop music. We are tired of being unjustly excluded.” Read more Leaked TTIP Treaty: U.S. Must Win the Eurovision Song Contest

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Lana Del Rey Distraught Over Backwards Spelling of First Name

LOS ANGELES — The winner of a Q Award for her song “Best New Thing” and an MTV Europe Music Award for “Best Alternative Act,” American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey is devastated that her first name spelled backwards is A-N-A-L.

“Growing up, I never realized it,” said the 28-year-old GQ Woman of the Year. “I actually thought my name was pretty unique. You know, I grew up around a lot of Jessicas, Sarahs, Rachels, and I always thought my name was kind of cool. Now I envy those girls.” Read more Lana Del Rey Distraught Over Backwards Spelling of First Name

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