Tag Archive | "marijuana"

Patriots for Pot Put Support behind Morgan Freeman for President


A more liberal-leaning sect of the Tea Party known as the Patriots for Pot are putting their money behind actor Morgan Freeman for President even though he’s not running (officially).

Dilbert “Doobie” Warner, President of the Patriots for Pot Party (PPP) located in Denver, Colorado says that the members of his party were faced with choosing a candidate to back from a list of some really heavy hitters, but in the end, Morgan Freeman was their number one choice. Read the full story

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Posted in Entertainment, PoliticsComments (0)

Subsidi-Farm Ramps up Medical Marijuana Production to Fund Libyan War


Cultivation of the US Government’s own strain of cannabis known as mellow-yellow by a government-sanctioned agricultural group known as Subsidi-Farm is being ramped up in order to help raise money for the latest war in Libya. The coffers are running dry when it comes to funding social programs, medical health programs and education, but with this latest source of income, the President hopes to stave off any criticism for borrowing more heavily from the Chinese to maintain our presence in 3 wars. Read the full story

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Posted in Top Stories, War ZoneComments (0)

National Tea Party Unwittingly Aligns Itself with California Pot Growers Association


An unlikely partnership has formed between some very conservative-thinking patriots and a group of stoners who could care less about any politics unless, of course, they involve the legalization of marijuana.

How it happened, no one is really certain, but the ability to undo what has been done may be harder than anyone anticipated due to the fact that there is a rather large sum of money hanging in the balance. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Medical Marijuana Cafes Designated Smoke-Free Zones in California


For a few years now, medical marijuana cafes have been springing up in states like California, Colorado and Oregon to give users of medical marijuana safe havens to self-medicate themselves for various ailments. The cafes have jumped many hurdles to get to this point, but now, the largest hurdle of all looms ahead—smoke-free zone designations. Read the full story

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Posted in HealthComments (1)

Medical Marijuana to be Grown in White House Garden this Year


WASHINGTON, D.C. – It is the first week of February, and for Michelle Obama, this means it is time to start planning the White House organic garden. While the garden will again contain a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a few ornamental flowers, a new addition is sure to create the most controversy ever.

The White House organic garden will include several varieties of medical marijuana. Read the full story

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Posted in HealthComments (54)

Shocking Truth Behind Highest Level Religious Moves Towards Social Media


THE VATICAN, ROME —BobZaguy Socio-political similarities have surfaced between the two most famous world-class conservative church leaders who publicly don’t seem to pay much mind to each other.
However, two bone-shaking statements were made a few days apart by the two men and have most of the world’s religious pundits looking for a pin to stand on. Read the full story

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Posted in Crime, ReligionismComments (2)

Smokin’ Token Miley’s Bong “Not Police Evidence,” Up for Sale


Picutres of the annoying starlet choking up on the toke bat surfaced last month, which she dismissed as representing something slightly more legal than marijuana. Yesterday, it was announced the now famous bong is up for sale. Police have assured us they don’t need it, as they “don’t investigate rich white girl crimes.”

Even though Miley claimed the water pipe, or bong (but let’s not kid ourselves, that toke-shot was pure bong,) was not used to smoke marijuana, under normal circumstances that would still be cause for serious investigation. After all, young Miss Cyrus is too young to drink alcohol or rent a car. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, CrimeComments (4)

Baby Boomer Planning Ap Pushes Retirement Age to 170


A new computer application available to baby boomers, who are now reaching retirement age at the rate of 10,000 a day, allows optimistic boomers to plan for an affluent retirement at the ripe old age of 170.

The program allows the user to type in variables such as amount of current savings, expected expenses such as healthcare and amount of desired disposable income. After the user hits the “calculate” button, they can see what age they will have enough money to keep from starving to death in a rundown shack. Read the full story

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Human InterestComments (2)

Pot Tops Booze as Most Popular Adult X-mas Gift this Year


Forget slippers and socks, power tools for the guys and tennis bracelets and earrings for the gals, this year for the first time, marijuana (pot) is the most sought after gift, both for giving and receiving.

While spirits and wine have always been at or near the top of the adult gift-giving list come Christmastime, never before has an illegal substance (or kinda-sorta legal substance now in some states depending on who you ask) made it to the top of the list. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Despite Strong Support, Prop 19 Fails Due to Inaction, Dude


LOS ANGELES, CA – GlossyNews.com – Supporters of Proposition 19, which would have legalized, taxed and regulated the sale and use of marijuana in California, promised more action in future elections after suffering a defeat on either Tuesday or Wednesday night. Some time last week for sure.

“The main issue here was voter turnout,” said Martin Cobbler, a marijuana advocacy organizer. “Our message was strong, our support was vast, but in the end not enough people came out for the cause.” Read the full story

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Posted in Crime, PoliticsComments (3)

Spontaneous Pot Combustion in Church Rectory Causes High Mass


WORCESTER, Massachusetts – (Glossy News) – Police and fire crews were called to Our Lady of Perpetual Forgiveness in Worcester, Massachusetts last Saturday evening when a church secretary called to report a strange smell emanating throughout the chapel where mass was being held. At first, everyone thought that the priest must have been burning incense and didn’t think anything of it, but as the smell got stronger and some of the faithful began giggling uncontrollably, it became apparent that something was amiss. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (7)

Possible Cause for Marijuana Addiction Discovered


LONDON (GlossyNews) — In groundbreaking new research, scientists at world-renowned Oxford University in Oxford, England have discovered that patchouli oil may cause marijuana addiction.

Extensive studies have been conducted over the past twelve years linking the use of the semi-popular fragrance to that of marijuana smoking. In order to complete the experiment, scientists and volunteers have been encouraged to bring in anyone off of the street who smells like patchouli. Read the full story

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Posted in Health, SocietyComments (0)

Homeless “Hippie” and Dogs Arrested for Selling Marijuana to Teens


Venice Beach, CA (GlossyNews) — A local homeless man arrested yesterday has been charged with grand theft auto and selling marijuana to minors, according to police. Shaggy Rogers, known only as “Shaggy” on the street, was arrested after propositioning an undercover police officer with a marijuana cigarette that he called a “Scooby snack.”

After being taken into custody, police discovered that Rogers was also wanted for stealing a van owned by his business partner Freddy Jones of Mystery, Inc.  According to the stolen vehicle report, Jones told police he and Rogers had a falling out over the decline of their business, after which he discovered his “Mystery Machine” Van was missing along with his two dogs, Scooby and Scrappy-Doo. Read the full story

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Posted in CrimeComments (0)

Subsidi-Farm Granted USDA Contract to Develop Seedless Pot


Washington, D.C. – In what was hailed as a “good news, bad news” story today out of Washington, Subsidi-Farm, one of the nation’s largest agricultural companies, has been granted a federal contract to develop seedless, irradiated pot, which, among other things, will have a distinct yellow coloration to its leaves. Although seedless, the pot offers the same or better medicinal properties as that grown by private cultivators, due to the fact that all the plants processed will be female. Read the full story

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Posted in Science & TechnologizzyComments (35)

Pot Growers Hire PR Firm to Develop Marijuana Marketing Plan


Los Angeles, CA – “The times, they are a changin’, again,” remarked Henry “Pops” Champion to a group of medical marijuana clinic owners and pot growers who all agree that it is time to finally pull out all the stops in getting marijuana prohibition lifted in California, and eventually, nationwide. Pops has been a lifelong smoker and proponent of legalized marijuana. Read the full story

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Former Singer/Drug Addict Bobby Brown Wins X-Games 14 Snowboarding Medal


ASPEN, Colorado — R&B sensation Bobby Brown left a successful stint with New Edition in 1987 to pursue a solo career, which garnered him a string of Top 10 Billboard hits and a Grammy Award. But Brown’s increasingly bizarre behavior throughout the 1990s and early 2000s began to overshadow his past glory. Read the full story

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Posted in Sports Events, Sports Scandals, SportsfolkComments (0)

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