Tag Archive | "marijuana"

Cannabis Product Review & Resource Website Makes History with $1 Billion Internet Money Buyout Offer


(San Francisco, CA) WeedGear.com — A recently launched review and community participation website has announced that fictional character Towelie, famous for his role on South Park, has raised enough virtual currency through online pimping services to invest his $1 Billion internet dollars in becoming the web’s next marijuana mogul.

Waiting for his payout at the Department of Internet Money (DIM), along side Star Wars Kid, Grumpy Cat, and Cute Sneezing Panda, Towelie said, “Yeah, with all these big names jumping into the business of weed, I figured I’d better get on board. Those back-alley deals I was doing in the old days just weren’t paying off. Maybe it was because of my crack addiction. I can’t remember.” Read the full story

Share

Posted in Biz NewsComments (0)

Scientists: Potheads Cannot Recognize Connection between Their Stash & Murderous Drug Cartels


Scientists have finally proven that there is a big disconnect in the minds of those heavily into pot.

It has been long suspected that marijuana use has negative effects upon the brains and bodies of partakers, a claim equally long denied by the users.

“It is obvious from our recent studies that pot users cannot distinguish reality from fiction.” put forth William Smartguy, head researcher at the Westmoreland Clinic for Studying Dopes and Dope Fiends. Read the full story

Share

Posted in ScienceComments (10)

Dennis Rodman Admits He May Have Tiger Blood Also


Dennis Rodman is in rehab. Big surprise after his latest trip to North Korea. Yeah, he got drunk, big whup. He was probably high as well on some good Korean ganga too. Anything papasan want? Anything? You name it Joe, we get for you.

“Yeah, I want the biggest-ass bottle of sake you got and a bowl-ful of that Korean home grown, thanks kindly, Kim.”

And then this, “You know man, I am like so Charlie Sheen-ing right now. I swear I got tiger blood.”

You want holang-i pi? Joe? Tiger blood. Get Joe some tiger blood.

“No, no man, my blood, it’s like…oh never mind.”

[takes another hit off the makeshift bong made from an old piece of pipe and some rice paper]

“What was I saying? Oh yea, Tiger Woods, no…wait yeah, I wanna go golfing. You got clubs?”

Oh yeah, Joe, we got clubs, and rockets, nuclear ones, better than clubs, clubs are for suckers.

“No, no, man, c’mon, give peace a chance. Golf, I want to go golfing…”

No, Joe, we don’t have golf here, fees to club are too expensive. Damn Americans. Sorry Joe, present company excluded.

“Uh, okay then, I think Imma head back over to the states and soak in a hot tub someplace where they know what the hell golf is or whatevahhhh.”

[Takes one last hit off the bong and finishes up the sake before laying back on the comfy floor mattress and lets out a little roar, more like a yawn, really, and crashes for the night.]

Share

Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (2)

New Pot Laws May Save/Destroy Education System in America


After seeing how much money Colorado made in just the first week of implementing its law allowing the use of recreational marijuana, New Hampshire is hurrying through legislation of its own with a vote scheduled today.

With a hefty 25% state tax, coupled with the usual 2.9% state sales tax on recreational marijuana, Colorado is finally looking at enough money to re-vamp its entire educational system. Washington state will follow later this year, and now several other states are hurrying through legislation to legalize recreational marijuana to attain the same goal.

The latest to vote on making recreational marijuana legal in their state is New Hampshire. A hastily put-together bill is scheduled to take place today, where it is expected to eke by, but still pass. At that point, New Hampshire will be the third state to make up to an ounce of recreational marijuana legal to possess.

That is, unless the Governor of New Hampshire makes good on her promise. Governor Maggie Hassan has vowed to veto the bill if it passes the Senate and House. New Hampshire may be in for a long legal battle as a goodly portion of the citizens of New Hampshire see a way out of educational poverty for their state. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Serious Commentary, Top StoriesComments (4)

New Marijuana Laws Spur Highest Home Prices in Years


New numbers have come out in the housing sector, indicating that in the next year, the states of Washington and Colorado will have the highest number of home sales in the country. Some other states are not too far behind. What makes these states so successful? Analysts say it is the passage of laws these past few years making the use of medicinal marijuana finally legal.

In Washington and Colorado, especially, new laws make it legal to possess and use small amounts of recreational marijuana. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Biz NewsComments (0)

Washingtonian Excited for Perils of Living in a Stoner State


Recently two states legalized the recreational use of marijuana: Colorado and my state, Washington. In full disclosure, even though, like Bill Clinton, I have never personally tried pot, I voted for passage of this law.

And I want to apologize for my decision. I had no idea that legalizing weed would unleash a tidal wave of chaos, undermining the social contract of this once great state.

For years, my parents, my minister and my 7th grade science teacher, Mr. Curtis, warned me about the dangers of marijuana. The critically acclaimed 1936 documentary film Reefer Madness proved conclusively that even a single puff of marijuana could lead to a life of heroin addiction, crime and attempting to French kiss nuns during mass. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Health, SocietyComments (1)

Pot-Seeking Hippie Caravans Headed for Marijuana Meccas


Now that the laws are on the books in both Colorado and Washington state making the recreational use of marijuana legal, boomers all over the United States are hitting the road, plotting plans to get their fair share of the heavenly harvest while doing their best to stay under the radar of the local authorities in surrounding states.

‘Maravans’ as they are called, caravans of cars that are leaving from cities all over the US and headed for the two states that have what they want–marijuana–are becoming a regular sight on the nation’s back roads. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (2)

What Is Wrong With This Picture from Afghanistan?


Since the beginning of the Afghan war, the coalition forces have been having a hard time training and getting the loyalty of the Afghan police and soldiers they were training to fight the Taliban and Al Queda.

“Why?” so many drill instructors, trainers, Generals and other Allied personnel have asked themselves and their superiors over and over again.

This is important especially when the people you are training might turn around their guns and take their bullets out on you instead of the Taliban; or because they ARE the Taliban. Read the full story

Share

Posted in War Zone, World NewsComments (0)

The Illuminati Responds to Shooting by Rap Artist During Pledge Week


A Richmond Virginia man is being held without bail after his marijuana fueled attempt to sacrifice his friend in order to join the Illuminati.

The man, an aspiring rap artist believed that by killing his friend he could join the secretive world dominating organization and they would in turn, jump start his go-nowhere music career. Read the full story

Share

Posted in MusicComments (3)

Pot and Bongo Fest Expected to Draw Huge Crowds


The First Annual Pot and Bongo Fest scheduled to be held this year is expected to draw huge crowds from all over the world.

“Since this is the first festival in the country featuring legalized marijuana, we can’t put a figure on attendance, but assume it will become one of the most popular festivals in America’s history,” said Bud Harkins, one of the key organizers of the festival affectionately nicknamed “Pongo.” Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (2)

From COPS to Pot Farmers: How Reality TV Has Done a 360


Everyone who is a fan of reality television knows that COPS is credited with being the first reality-based show on television. A staple on Saturday nights, COPS ruled the roost in reality television for several decades on Fox before being pushed aside for more elaborate shows on other channels.

So it is more than ironic that the latest offering in reality TV shows would be about an activity that has law enforcement officials feeling helpless to stop—Pot Farming in Northern California. Read the full story

Share

Posted in TelevisionComments (6)

Justin Bieber May Soon Start Using Heroin, Meth According to Experts


Experts examining a recent photo of Justin Bieber smoking marijuana fear that the youthful pop star may soon graduate to harder drugs such as heroin and methamphetamines.

“Pot is a gateway drug to harder substances”, said Los Angeles youth counselor Sister Mary Francis Hardon. “And it will make him want to have sex! Can you imagine that young man having sex with all those disgusting, youthful girls who shove their breasts and vaginas into his face! It’s appalling!” Read the full story

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, EntertainmentComments (4)

Marijuana Candles Give New Meaning to the Term Melting Pot


A new product is hitting store shelves in the states where medical marijuana is legal. “Melting Pot” candles. The candles are made from a mixture of beeswax and potent medical marijuana and are the brainchild of Potpend Home Products.

These unique candles have been approved for use by the FDA, DEA, FDIC and NATO. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Biz News, HealthComments (1)

Senate Considers Replacing Part of Medicare Plan with Medical Marijuana Plan


While the debate in the Senate continues over whether to raise taxes on the rich, cut spending on Social Security and Medicare, or both, in order to deal with the debt ceiling crisis, there is one option on the table that is getting quite a bit of attention from both sides—incorporating a medical marijuana option into Medicare-Part D, the national prescription drug plan. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Bumper Crop of Medical Marijuana Expected in White House Garden


Thanks to a wet and mild spring in the nation’s capital this year, a bumper crop of medical marijuana is expected in the White House garden. Tommy Chong, chief Japanese gardener, (no relation to that other Tommy Chong) claims the plants have started taking over the entire garden.

“This is the first year we decided to grow cannabis in the herb section of the garden,” says Chong “and it’s taking over the place. We’ve got some plants reaching the 2-foot height already and this is only May. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Patriots for Pot Put Support behind Morgan Freeman for President


A more liberal-leaning sect of the Tea Party known as the Patriots for Pot are putting their money behind actor Morgan Freeman for President even though he’s not running (officially).

Dilbert “Doobie” Warner, President of the Patriots for Pot Party (PPP) located in Denver, Colorado says that the members of his party were faced with choosing a candidate to back from a list of some really heavy hitters, but in the end, Morgan Freeman was their number one choice. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Entertainment, PoliticsComments (0)

Page 1 of 3123
Check out our friends:
Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Glossy News Epic Mini Golf Trailer
(Comment on this video here)
-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

7 posts
7 posts
2 posts
2 posts
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial