Tag Archive | "Madonna"

Madonna & Lady Gaga’s New Cult is Too Much, Even for Progressives

Madonna and Lady Gaga, frustrated at Pope Francis’ apparent failure to make headway against conservative cardinals, have decided to form their own Church, in order to restore the true authentic meaning of Catholicism.

The One True Catholic Church of the All Holy Spirit of Our Universal Cosmic Mother, or OTCCOTAHSOOUCM for short, is not a new invention, but the original version of Catholicism that the real Jesus actually taught. Read the full story


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Kelly Clarkson Wants to be First Annoying US President

It had to happen one day…

We’ve already had the “First Black President™” (a white saxophone player from Arkansas), we’ve had an ACTUAL First Black President™, and there’s been talk of Hillary Clinton being the First Female President™.

I mean, you might have wondered when Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson and Marilyn Manson are casting their hats into the ring… Read the full story


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Miley Proposes Soap as Weapon of Mass Destruction

Los Angeles, California – Since her celebrated beginnings in Nashville, Tennessee, as the daughter of country singer, Billy Ray Cyrus, Miley Cyrus has experienced a radiant career that has taken her from the Disney Channel to the big stage at MTV’s Video Music Awards to her current role as an outside consultant for the United States Army.

“I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she decides to run for President one day,” proclaimed Sergeant Dennis Hoppler, who has followed Miley’s career from the beginning when she portrayed a Girl Scout cookie seller in the film, Little Bitches, starring Mickey Rourke and Madonna. Read the full story


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Miley Cyrus Stoned For Being A Whore in Saudi Arabia

The private jet of Miley Cyrus, the young formerly squeaky clean Mouseketeer turned rich white trash singer, developed electrical problems flying back from a concert in India and was forced to make an emergency landing in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

The plane was to have been down for only four hours for repair, but Cyrus was picked up by the Moral Police for indecency when she started singing and strutting her stuff at the airport to entertain her roadies and passerby’s. Read the full story


Posted in MusicComments (1)

Diet Craze “Famine” Sweeps Hollywood, 3rd World

Madonna has returned from her latest trip to Africa with a new celeb ‘famine’ diet.

Always looking for a way to stay in shape Madonna, 53, has been following a new diet that will dramatically lower body fat, bone density and muscle. Friends of the Grammy award-winning singer said that she was inspired by how easily the children in the Mwingi district, Kenya, followed the diet in order to stay slim.

The diet consists of one small portion of cavassa root and as little as 100ml of water a day. One day a week you are allowed a bowl of ugali (water and maze porriage).

Members of the public who have tried the diet said that they had felt incredibly unwell, tired, weak and dizzy but Stacy from California said that “the diet really works. The weight has just dropped off”.

Other celebrities, such as Jennifer Aniston, have openly shunned this diet opting for the ‘Hospital IV’ drip diet.



Posted in Celebrity Gossip, HealthComments (3)

Marilyn Manson Costume Upsets ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ Viewers

A New Jersey mother, who previously dressed her 2-year old daughter in Wonder Woman and Madonna outfits complete with pointy cones, is taking more heat for the latest costume her now 3-year old daughter will be wearing in next season’s Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC.

When asked how she could possibly top dressing her daughter as a sexy super hero or over-the-top pop performer who made wearing lingerie on stage an everyday thing, Lorraine “Lala” Loopier (pronounced Loo-pee-ay) said that when you have a gorgeous little blonde daughter with “the look,” the sky is the limit. Read the full story


Posted in Entertainment, TelevisionComments (7)

Madonna: Man Enough to Fill Simon Cowell’s Seat?

Simon Fuller, the creator of American Idol, is reportedly close to offering Simon Cowell’s soon-to-be vacant judgeship to Madonna, a move that has a lot of people asking if Madonna is man enough to fill the position. Simon Fuller seems to think she is. Read the full story


Posted in TelevisionComments (0)

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