Tag Archive | "air travel"

Travelocity; Genius, Evil or Evil Genius? (We’ll find out Monday!)


When I went to book my upcoming trip I found the best deal at Travelocity.com, but at what price? The answer may surprise you.

It sure as hell surprised me, and perhaps not in the good way.

I booked a one-stop flight for a competitive $1,118, only to find two days later that it wasn’t simply booked for the wrong days, but the entire wrong months. I should have caught this in booking, but I didn’t, and since a few minutes past 24-hours had passed, it was not eligible for cancellation. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, TravelComments (4)

Jet-Wheel Stowaway Forces Airports to Increase Security Illusions


SAN JOSE, CALIF. — Following a 15-year-old boy’s recent stowaway ride across the Pacific Ocean, authorities at San Jose International Airport say they plan to work with the FAA in an effort to step up their security illusions, sources report.

According to San Jose International Airport Spokesperson Janet Bavory, “Our illusions of security failed us this time. In the future, however, we vow to increase the number of pretend security measures in order to make sure that such a devastating terror attack doesn’t almost happen ever again.” Read the full story

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Posted in Travel, War ZoneComments (0)

Delta Passenger Relieved Pilot Named Wendell


THE SKY—While onboard Delta flight 326 field sales representative and coach passenger Herman Adler reported the fact that he experienced a feeling of relief upon learning that the pilot’s name was Wendell.

“Sounds like a level-headed guy,” said Adler.

Adler went on to discuss the comfort he took in knowing the plane he was traveling in was piloted by someone named Wendell. Read the full story

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Chubby SouthWest Passenger Buys 2nd Seat, Denied 2nd Meal


Davis “Name withheld” Johnnson, or as we’ll anonymously call him, “Davis” has been a frequent business flier on SouthWest since the internet startup he’s employed with boomed in 2001. Normally he buys two seats and gets two meals.

“Hey, if I’m going to be that random fat guy, I have to accept that I’m going to have to buy two seats. I get that,” Said Davis anonymously, from his non-descript home at 42 Hummingbird Lane, Oakland, California, just past the green house with all the goofy yard ornaments. Read the full story

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TSA Anger Leads Nudist Airlines to Growth, Uprising


Nature Air CEO Calvin Klavan is quick to tell reporters he doesn’t like the term ‘nudist.’ “We’re not nudists; we’re naturists. When you cloth-backs go to the zoo, do you marvel at the ‘nude’ animals? No, of course you don’t. Yes, we’re a damned profitable business. But first and foremost we’re a movement whose time has arrived.”

He spoke to Glossy News this week from Nature Air’s Vista Verdad, AZ corporate offices, about the fledgling carrier’s stunning recent success. Read the full story

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Homeland Security Calls on Superman to Help Passenger Screening


In a move to help quell the uproar over airport full-body scanners, Department of Homeland Security chief Janet Napolitano put in a personal call to the Man of Steel asking for help, despite doubts about his very existence.

The growing backlash from passengers, pilots and airlines themselves has prompted an emergency meeting between the DHS and TSA to look for a solution just before the busiest holiday travel season of the year officially kicks off. Read the full story

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Posted in Technology, TravelComments (2)

Airport Screenings to Include CT Scans, MRIs, Dental Cleanings


WASHINGTON, D.C. (Glossy News) — Last December, following a foiled terrorist airline attack, airports implemented full body scans, prompting many air travelers to wonder what additional security procedures they would have to endure. The wondering can stop. Yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced a comprehensive battery of new health care-friendly airport screenings. In addition to full body scans, air travelers will now be able to get free CAT scans, MRIs, dental cleanings and even yearly physicals while going through security. Read the full story

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Airplane Pilot Killed by iPod Listener Likely Never Heard Him


Jersey City, NJ (GlossyNews) — A man listening to his iPod while learning to ride a rental 1967 Schwinn Fastback 5-speed tried desperately to gear down as he approached the tarmac just minutes before a Boeing 747 was set to take off. Even though the Schwinn’s gears were grinding loudly, the noise was not enough to warn the pilot, George Died, who had just gotten out to check the air in the right front tire of the plane.

“George noticed the plane pulling a little to the right when we taxied to the runway,” s Read the full story

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Passenger Forced to Fix Faulty Airliner


Holidaymakers avoided a long delay to their flight home when a passenger with an Irish army knife, a roll of duct tape and a claw hammer fixed a mechanical problem with their plane. Read the full story

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