Categorized | Politics, Religionism

Ben Carson: Episcopalians are WORSE than ISIS!

Ben Carson: Episcopalians are WORSE than ISIS!

Ben Carson has recently made another epic Godwin fail. But who has had the dire misfortune of incurring his wrath this time?

Fifa & ISIS.

Uh, sorry!

Episcopalians & ISIS. One is a thuggish gang of jackbooted religious sectarians who want to undermine and destabilize our culture so the whole world can be exactly like them.

The other is a flamboyant gang of well-groomed cloak-swishing effeminates who are having a scandalous impact on the spiritual wellbeing of this world!

Well, I’ll let you all try and guess which is which.

(Psst… channelling Pat Robertson much?)

But look, let me tell you this, my friends. The evil agenda of the Episcopalians must be halted in its tracks. You know, Fox News, Breitbart, American Thinker, Free Republic and other equivocating, compromising, center-leaning liberal media outlets have at least made a little bit of an effort to point out the unspeakably vicious and unimaginably vile atrocities perpetrated by ISIS, such as:

Denying the infallibility and literal verbal inspiration of the Holy Bible.

Discouraging the study of legitimate religious texts and authorities. 

Preventing the right kind of Gospel being preached in Iraq and Syria.

And curiously enough, these are EXACTLY THE SAME CRIMES the Episcopalians are committing!

And not only this: although as unbelieving pagans, ISIS will inevitably be destroyed and sink under the wrath of a righteous and just and loving God who (believe me!) has more than enough moral courage to condemn even those who have never heard; and yet, for precisely this reason, the Episcopalian infidels and apostates from the true Gospel, these fools and blasphemers who ought to know better, are bringing upon themselves an even greater damnation.

Now surely, undermining the authority of the Bible is in itself more than sufficient justification for eternal damnation. But worse still: undermining the Constitution, by giving new privileges and worst of all, new rights to sodomites? Has anything more horrendous than this ever but once entered the immeasurably sinful and wicked and thrice-damnable heart of fallen man?

And yet, our decadent Marxist media are reluctant to condemn the devils in our midst. They see the mote, the mere speck or atom of dust in the eyes of ISIS, but they are entirely lacking the moral courage which would identify the blazing forest of wickedness and debauchery that abides among the vile and ineffably abominable Episcopalian heretics among us.

To sum up?

Yes! You got it!

Religious superstition and pious priestcraft are EVEN WORSE than slavery.

And if you understand that, you’ll surely understand with the greatest of ease, the difference between me and my GOP comrades, versus these ridiculous Episcopalian lunatics that are in our midst today.

 

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This post was written by

- who has written 367 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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