Muslims Couldn’t Care Less About Trump’s Edgy Religious Conversions

Donald Trump has recently decided to further alienate Muslims by staging a controversial religious conversion.

Or rather, a whole sevenfold string of counterfeit conversions. However, his plan appears to have backfired.

Trump decided to convert to the Baha’i, Yazidi, Mandaean, Druze, Ahmadiyya Muslim, Zoroastrian and Babi faiths.

Now although Fox News are probably not going to be saying much about this any time soon, the Middle East does actually have quite a number of long-standing religious traditions. Some of these faiths are considered heterodox forms of Islam, or at least historically related to Islam. And others, like the Zoroastrian faith, are much more independent traditions.

Trump had hoped that by converting to a variety of faiths that were either other than Islam, or outside of the traditional Islamic mainstream, he could irritate Muslims even more than he has done up to now.

So I did a quick survey.

Ayatollah Khameini (Iran):

Nope! No change in my opinion whatsoever!

King Salman (Saudi Arabia):

Huh! I feel exactly the same way as I did before!

Trump shouts:

Hey! That’s sooo cheating! Why don’t you ask some secular leaders instead of these lousy theocrat guys?

Hm. Fine then!

President Assad:

Once a loser, always a loser.

President Sisi (OK, technically North Africa; but Trump doesn’t care!):

Why on earth would anything Donald Trump says or does now make me hate him any more than I already do?!

Trump remained buoyant.

Hey listen, Wallace, Wallace, the Muslims love me, they just love me! Just like the Mexicans!

Ah-ha, ha. Um, OK…

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