Congress holds record low approval ratings, but none more so than the Republicans, and none more among them than the Trump-aligned representatives. With an obvious distaste for these levels of corruption, Democrats are furiously scrambling to find new ways to lose the next election.
“Maybe we could go full Commie?” suggest Margie Atwater, a Bernie Sanders supporter with gorgeous high cheek bones and a suspiciously Eastern European accent. “I would very much like for to support these.”
Others are less convinced, or even sure why they’re at these meetings, since the promised punch and pie never materialized.
“The opiate epidemic is a thing,” offered one junior staffer. “Maybe we can lower the price of opiates.”
But no, insisted democratic regional director, “We have to give voters a reason to stay home.”
Suggestions at the meeting included:
* Increase apathy by offering bumper stickers no one would want.
* Advocate for causes literally no voting bloc could conscionably support.
* Stay the course on ballooning military and healthcare spending, and,
* A subsidized Toddler Gun Program.
No one in attendance was impressed, or even interested. “It’s unlikely most of these people will even vote in the next election,” said Blarn Hampstead, of the Minnesota senior junior democrats alliance. “And if that’s the case, we’ve done our part.”