Tag Archive | "rush limbaugh"

Rush Limbaugh blasts Pope Francis and the Jesus he rode in on


Responding to Pope Francis’s warning that the “idolatry of money” leads to a “new tyranny,” the conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh spoke on behalf of the demonic powers that govern the material world and that only genuine followers of Jesus can detect.

Just seven or eight such followers currently reside in the United States and when they listen to Limbaugh speak on the radio they report hearing “the howling of the damned” in the background. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Opinon/Editorial, ReligionismComments (0)

Rush Limbaugh Crushed Under Falling Vending Machine


PALM BEACH COUNTY, FL – Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was flattened Sunday after a freak accident involving a vending machine left the 61-year-old with multiple injuries.

Just 24 hours after issuing an apology to law student Sandra Fluke for calling her a “slut” and “a prostitute” on his live show, EMTs rushed Limbaugh to nearby Palm Beach County Hospital, where the radio personality is being treated for excruciating rib damage, three broken fingers and a fractured cheek bone. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Celebrity GossipComments (1)

Senator Ted Cruz Mutilated by Radical Liberals


Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) was admitted to the Specialty Hospital Of Washington in Washington DC, missing his nose confirmed party spokeswoman Eileen Wright.

A visibly stunned Ms Wright kept shaking her head, but managed to tell reporters that earlier that evening Senator Cruz had a pimple develop on the edge of his nose, right by the nostril and we all know what an irritation that is, and panicked. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Rush Limbaugh Voted Most Respected American


The Legitimate Society of Respected Americans has come out with their new survey, and the results are not surprising; Rush Limbaugh voted Most Respected American.

Beating out Abe Lincoln, Maya Angelou and Rick Steves, successful radio journalist Rush Limbaugh easily topped the charts with respondents describing him as noble, selfless, handsome and “of a healthy, patriotic American weight”. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (2)

Tea Party Member Breaks Ranks and Votes for Self-interest


In a surprising move, Tea Party member Wright Wing admitted that he decided to break ranks and vote for Barack Obama for president.

“Believe me, I had no intention of voting for Obama,” said Mr. Wing. “But when I sat down and actually read the campaign literature from both sides, I realized that voting Democratic was in my best interests.”

Like most Tea Partiers, Wing had previously relied on his gut instinct and advice from supposedly reliable sources like Rush Limbaugh and the Koch Brothers. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Sandra Fluke Speaks Out on Todd Akin


What follows is an open letter from Sandra Fluke in response to the republican candidate Todd Akin. She has a few choice words for him, and we’ve chosen to publish them.

In a recent statement that was both factually inaccurate and horribly offensive, Republican Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin said that victims of “legitimate rape” don’t get pregnant because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

This is what Todd Akin looks like when he speaks. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan tried to distance themselves from the remark — but the fact is they’re in lockstep with Akin on the major women’s health issues of our time. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Rush Limbaugh Loses It


Claims Barack Obama is former member of Insane Clown Posse, and has pictures to back it up.

Share

Posted in Making HeadlinesComments (2)

“Georgetown University Girl is Loco!”


Posted by your South America correspondents Maria and Consuela Lopez.

Maria: “We’ve been very busy covering the Syrian rebellion from the Greek Isles, and according to all the guys we’ve interviewed here, it’s not going too well in Syria.” Read the full story

Share

Posted in Top StoriesComments (0)

Rush Limbaugh Dropped on Head at Birth According to Unauthorized Biography


A writer working on the unauthorized biography of conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has released a very important piece of information that may explain the idiotic statements that Limbaugh often makes on his daily radio show. Recent comments Limbaugh made about Japanese refugees are coming under fire, which led the author to leak the information in the biography prematurely. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, EntertainmentComments (0)

Limbaugh Weasels Out of Another One


Much to the delight of his listening audience, crow connoisseur, Rush Limbaugh has claimed that Arizona shooter, Jared Lee Loughner is not insane, but psychic.

“It’s true,” the egg-splattered Limbaugh proclaimed Wednesday, while doing a mind-bending radio segment about repealing the Job-killing Obamacare Plan for Dirty Illegal Mexicans and Other Parasites. Read the full story

Share

Posted in EntertainmentComments (2)

Chief Standing Wolf Takes on Rush Limbaugh After ‘Injuns’ Comment


FORT APACHE, Arizona (Glossy News) — Watch out Rush Limbaugh. Chief Standing Wolf, who earlier this year made certain promises to rid Arizona of non-Native Americans if they didn’t repeal their white man laws allowing only English-speaking people in their state, is on the war path again. This time, it’s Rush Limbaugh that has the Apache leader seeing red. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, SocietyComments (0)

This Friday the 13th Predicted to be Astronomical Doozy


VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — Several astronomers are coming right out and telling people to be extra careful this Friday the 13th due to the fact that in addition to the 13th falling on a Friday this month, another more sinister event will be happening in the skies that night—a triple conjunction with the moon lining up with Venus, Mars and Saturn all in close proximity that night. Also known as the “smiley face” effect, the occurrence is rare but has always been associated with significant happenings in history. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Science & TechnologizzyComments (0)

Realtor Can’t Suppress Laughter while Showing Rush Limbaugh’s Manhattan Condo


New York, NY – By now, most people have seen the news that Rush Limbaugh is selling his New York Penthouse condo and moving out of New York due to the high rise in taxes. He said he would move and he’s keeping his promise so far. Many wish he would have kept his promise to move to Costa Rica if Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill passed as well, but I digress. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Liberal Becomes Violently Ill While Going Undercover at Patriot Gathering


Springfield, Mo (GlossyNews) -– The weekly meeting of a group of local patriots came to an abrupt halt last Tuesday when its members came flying out of the United Baptists Freedom Church reception hall retching and cursing and holding their mouths. An outsider was the cause for the stampede. Shelley Gates, a liberal (a rarity in this town) tried to infiltrate the group to find out what they were all about but became violently ill after listening to about an hour of their rhetoric. She began throwing up on everyone around her. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Huffington Post Honors Rush Limbaugh


with Mother of the Year award.

Share

Posted in Making Headlines, The RestComments (2)

Glossy News Wins Pulitzer Prize


Tonopah, NV Reuters — Humor news media titan Glossy News has won the Pulitzer in this year’s newly added “Best exploitation of a disaster” category. The committee cited GNN’s round the clock coverage from earthquake ravaged Hawaii. Media watchers were generally positive on the announcement, while acknowledging the race was always ‘too close to call.’

Washington Post’s Howard Kurtz said, “Exploiting disasters for higher ratings, well it’s our bread & butter, right? Privately I thought Geraldo had the edge for his Tiger Woods coverage. I mean, Geraldo is a disaster all by himself, so there was always chance for a double win. But there’s always next year.” Read the full story

Share

Posted in World NewsComments (0)

Page 1 of 212
Glossy News Fake Commercials!


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

10 posts
4 posts
2 posts
2 posts
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial