Lee Henry Morgan, Warden at California’s San Quentin Prison is breathing a sigh of relief these days as the number of shankings in this infamously dangerous prison have decreased greatly over the past several months.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” said Morgan of the almost humane way prisoners are now treating each other on a daily basis.

Morgan credits a deputy warden’s suggestions with bringing about such an incredible change. “We have LeRoy Perkins to thank for accomplishing what no other man before him has been able to accomplish. Read the full story

Lindsay Lohan appeared before Judge Keith Schwartz in Los Angeles today to find out whether or not she’ll be going to jail on charges of stealing a $2500 necklace or if she’ll be granted a new trial before another judge.

While her attorneys asked that the plea bargain contain no jail time, Judge Schwartz could not confirm that and therefore gave Lohan another two weeks to decide if she wanted to accept the plea bargain with possible jail time of anywhere from 30-90 days or have taxpayers splurge on another trial that could land her in state prison if found guilty. Read the full story

Although the criminal case against accused gunman, Jared Lee Loughner, is just beginning, one thing is for certain, he’s going to prison. And if the administrators over at the infamous Supermax facility in Fremont County, Colorado have anything to say about it, he’ll be doing his time with them, where sources say he’s already being considered for a part in their prison production of The Addams Family musical. Read the full story

A shortage of sodium thiopental, the kinder, gentler drug used for death row inmates in the US, forced the state of Oklahoma to send convicted murderer John Duty to a local vet where he was put down with an injection of pentobarbital so that, “he could die like the damned dirty dog he was.”

HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — After failing several court mandated drug and alcohol tests that were part of her sentencing arrangement in a recent DUI case involving drugs, actress Lindsay Lohan has found herself once again in the celebrity spotlight while back in front of the infamous L.A. Judge Tyrone Harding.

The recent conviction was tabloid headlines after photos surfaced showing the actress being asked to walk a straight line by a L.A. Sheriff’s Department officer while the camera captured six hypodermic needles dangling from her arm that she forgot to remove before getting behind the wheel. Read the full story

OS ANGELES, California – (Glossy News) – Lindsay Lohan was lucky she had the benefit of other celebrities’ experiences in jail to help prepare her for what to expect when she went into the slammer. Big names such as Lil’ Kim, Paris Hilton, Robert Downey, Jr. and Martha Stewart, yes, even Martha Stewart, have tweeted Lindsay with kinds words of encouragement and tips on how to survive the big house. Read the full story

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — A controversial portion of President Obama’s newest education initiative has come under fire from the American Federation of Teachers, which claims the measure is not only unconstitutional but absurd.

The provision in the President’s overhaul of the “No Child Left Behind Act” would hold all teachers accountable for their students’ performance and, in some cases, allow authorities to criminally prosecute teachers with poorly performing students. Read the full story

CHINO, CA (GlossyNews) — It’s difficult to trace the origins of tattoos and similar body art — which Western societies often regard as a form of mutilation — primarily because tattoos transcend culture and geography. Tattooing has been a practice since the Neolithic times, and today it’s not uncommon to see men and women of all ages displaying their “ink.” Read the full story

NEW YORK – Once again an attorney for Lil’ Wayne has requested a postponement of the rapscallion’s jail sentencing for gun possession. The sentencing had been scheduled originally for last month, but Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to a request for a postponement because Lil’ Wayne needed eight root canals and complex dental-implant work. This time the rapper is seeking three weeks’ grace before he begins serving a year in prison, because, his attorney revealed, he needs hemorrhoid surgery. Read the full story

TORRANCE, CA (GlossyNews) — An 80-year-old woman with a criminal record stretching back to 1955 has been sentenced to die in state prison for the theft of petty cash from a local temporary staffing office. Activists have criticized the judge’s ruling as overly harsh and unusually cruel. The judge in the case defended his decision saying, “if the rule is three strikes and you’re out, Verdulia has gone down swinging for the last nine innings and it’s time she hit the showers for good”. Read the full story

Johnny “Handsome” Marzetti sits in a jail cell awaiting sentencing for the attempted sexual assault on Donna Fuctwidder. He’s looking at 7-15 years in state prison for his crime. But Johnny’s had some time to put together a lawsuit of his own…against his intended victim and a few of the employees over at the Essex County Jail as a result of what he calls “a series of events that caused me to suffer permanent physical and psychological damages. Read the full story

Sir Jarvis Armitage-Shanks, the chairman of HM Scallydale Prison’s Independent Monitoring Board, told the media that illegal phones are fuelling jailbird drug trading and turning honest penitentiaries into hotbeds of crime.

Pontificating to reporters that the only way – in his unqualified opinion – to stop prisoners using cellphones to order pizza deliveries – and arranging for their outside gangs to pull off robberies, and snuff witnesses vital to prosecutions in ongoing trials, is to employ anti-terrorist technology to jam the incoming and outgoing mobile phone signals. Read the full story

Dear Hank,

I’m a regular guy, I keep to my business and do work when I can. How come I keep getting arrested?

-Frisked in Fresno

Dear Frisked,

Since you don’t really say what you are being arrested for, I can’t help you too much other than to assume that you are a “social moron.” Read the full story

A female prison officer was forced out of her job after being bullied because she was considered too pretty to enforce discipline, a Smegmadale Employment Tribunal heard this week. Fellatia Sodomberg, 27, a former Albanian BD/SM Pro-Dominatrix, is claiming constructive dismissal and suing Justice Secretary Jack Straw and HM Prison Service after being forced to desert her position at the Smegmadale-on-Sea based Scumbags Young Offenders Holiday Camp. Read the full story