Boosting Your Satire Book Sales Rank Without Cheating

The best way to boost your sales rank is to sell books!
There are other ways too. Some involve cheating though, and this is likely to cost you in the long run.
However, there are other ways of potentially boosting your sales rank without BAD-about-it.
Read on, if you want to get a quick Espresso boost for your very best creations! Read more Boosting Your Satire Book Sales Rank Without Cheating

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Advanced Casino Technology is the Way Forward

NetEnt Leads the Way with the First Virtual Reality Slot

The online casino industry has made incremental progress to present itself as a real alternative to traditional gambling. Now that so many people have made the transition from brick-and-mortar casinos to the online environment, Internet competition has intensified. Read more Advanced Casino Technology is the Way Forward

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The Destructive Effects of Capitalism

I wanted to read an article entitled “The Destructive Effects of Capitalism.” It was written by an intellectual who was somewhat right about most everything except practicality. He’s one of those people who writes a lot of those sounds good, won’t work articles.

In his last published opinion he used the term green rape when referring to air pollution, greed and environmental damage. In the comments section I tried to lighten the tone by adding that if you put an “se” in front of rape it becomes a tasseled shawl people wear in Spain, Mexico and gay pride parades. Read more The Destructive Effects of Capitalism

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Roll over Romney: Paypal Think ‘Professional Services are Merchandise?’

Yesterday Brian talked about his experiences with Paypal.

I recently had wages (i.e. not a small article commission) delayed for weeks. I was unhappy to hear that they can even upgrade the delay to 180 days, if they want!

(Fortunately, they didn’t. But that’s hardly the point!)

I’ve been searching the internet, and it seems that there are innumerable complaints about Paypal. Read more Roll over Romney: Paypal Think ‘Professional Services are Merchandise?’

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Even casual PayPal users vexed by PayPal’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad customer service

I’ve been a PayPal user for ages. If you mistake them for a bank, you do so at your peril, because they charge the highest fees, offer the lowest interest of all (zero, for the curious), and getting customer service is like trying to explain a card trick to Comcast over the phone.

Did I mention they are awful? Well, they are, and I’ll tell you why: Read more Even casual PayPal users vexed by PayPal’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad customer service

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US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else…”

WASHINGTON – U.S. State Department spokesman Milo Minderbinder announced today that ISIS must sign the TTIP [Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership] treaty by year’s end “or else we will retaliate with extreme prejudice. All options are on the table!”
“Terrorist organizations that control substantial assets, such as oil, should not be exempt from TTIP just because they are not recognized nation-states. TTIP is about promoting free trade, a goal that I’m sure that terrorists who specialize in decapitation videos can appreciate,” Minderbinder stated. Read more US: ISIS Must Sign TTIP “Or Else…”

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Have You Heard About Dyzastra?

Have you been feeling sluggish lately? Why not try Dyzastra? (“Di-ZAH-Struh”)

Do you have a spare tire around your middle that you’d like to get rid of? How about trying Dyzastra?

Stomach pain, the common cold and restless leg syndrome are no match for Dyzastra.

Do you have toenail fungus that just won’t go away? Maybe it’s time you tried Dyzastra. Read more Have You Heard About Dyzastra?

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Faith in Fed Interest Rate Hike at All-Time High

WASHINGTON – Faith that the Federal Reserve Bank will finally raise interest rates, after years of broken promises, is now at an all-time high.

“The Fed is really going to raise rates after our next meeting,” said Norman Bates, Chair of the Philadelphia Federal Reserve. “We promise. Personally, I’m betting big on a substantial interest rate hike. I can’t wait.”

“Of course we will raise the interest rate,” said New York Fed Chair David Rockemellon. “We just have to do it at our next meeting.” Read more Faith in Fed Interest Rate Hike at All-Time High

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The News (Really) Bytes – July 2015

Buddhists show their deep belief in the teachings of their saint- Buddha- by murdering and repressing the ethnic Muslims in Myanmar.

Turkey, coming to the aid of the U.S. and other nations battling Isis in the Middle-east decide to drop a few bombs on the Kurds in their own country as well.

The Kurds have proven to be the best fighters against Isis, but the Turkish government is leery of their success. The Turkish explain “Ah, we just had a few bombs left over and didn’t want to waste them.” Read more The News (Really) Bytes – July 2015

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The Secret Trans-Pacific Partnership: “The TPP Is Good for You. Trust Us”

WASHINGTON – Global leaders negotiating the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) affirmed the necessity of secret negotiations for the massive trade and “global governance” deal.

“The TPP is for your own good. Trust us,” stated senior negotiator Mickey Cantwell.

“Only highly-paid lobbyists can possibly understand the TPP text. It’s like NAFTA on steroids. I don’t think that mere journalists, ordinary consumers, or the useless eaters in Congress could possibly understand the TPP.” Read more The Secret Trans-Pacific Partnership: “The TPP Is Good for You. Trust Us”

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The News (Really) Bytes – June 2015

Jeb Bush announces candidacy for President – The head political office of the U.S. is now going back to the Bush Leagues.

Rachel Dolezal, a white person, pretended to be black and became head of the Spokane Washington NAACP and now has stepped down making true the statement “Once you go black you hate to go back”.

Hurricane Bill threatens the Texas coast. Hurricane Rick Perry threatens the entire country.

The Jurassic World movie reboot sets record for opening week for a movie – who ever knew dinosaurs could reincarnate? Read more The News (Really) Bytes – June 2015

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How Unemployment Really Works

Derek in Accounts Payable was an excitable type, but only to a certain extent.

When he rounded the corner to speak to Jason, his boss, colleague and friend he was more excited than normal.

The fact that he kept his voice low to avoid others hearing was indicative that it was also something serious.

“I’ve got it Jason! It just came out of the blue and punched me in the eye!”

“What is it?” asked Jason noncommittally. He had been presented with many of Derek’s ‘ideas’ before and knew to take them with a grain of salt.

“It’s the answer to the unemployment crisis. It is so simple I can’t believe no one else thought of it before!”

Derek’s mouth corners dropped an imperceptive millimeter downward. “This is going to be a doozy.” he thought.

“Here it is in a nutshell,” Derek stated, “We have too many people on unemployment because of the recession. We don’t have enough funds to keep paying them off forever.

“And we have to make sure that the Unemployment Office itself doesn’t get downsized or closed so that we lose our higher than normal wages and good benefits that are paid for by the earnings of the normal workers.

“So what we do is make it so difficult to get on unemployment and so time consuming to deal with or so poorly paid out that the people applying for it either starve to death from low payments, go insane filling out forms and dealing with technicalities or give up in frustration and becomes homeless or kill themselves.

“It’s great! No matter what we come out on top and intact! What do you think?”

Jason was quiet for a moment, no emotion showing on his face. Suddenly he jumped up inspired.

“That’s a great idea Derek! Let’s put it into operation immediately! In fact, I’m going to email it to all the other State unemployment offices so they can do the same. Our jobs are saved! Hurray!” He then ran off down the hall to use the fax machine.

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A Message From The Upper 1% To You Remaining 99% Lesserlings

Greetings,

We, the 1% of this nation and others in this world that truly control what goes on inside our societies have taken the time to write to you little people who make up the other 99% of the citizenry.

You should be thankful. We rarely take the time or the danger of sullying ourselves by dealing with you lesserlings.

In truth, we are making this condescension in order to let you people know your place. You might as well get used to the idea that we run things now and have for a long time. Read more A Message From The Upper 1% To You Remaining 99% Lesserlings

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Donald Trump’s Diary Released

“Trump filed the suit against Palm Beach County last week, claiming his history of conflict with Palm Beach International Airport has led officials to spitefully redirect air traffic over his historic Mar-a-Lago estate in south Florida.”
– USA Today – January 13, 2015

“Once again, Donald Trump claims he’s flirting with a run for the White House.” Read more Donald Trump’s Diary Released

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Misspelled Sign Places Pep Boys in Hot Water

Portland, Oregon – Manny, Moe & Jack may soon be changing their names to Fanny, Blow & Whack following the grand opening of the newest Pep Boys store on Alberta Street in downtown Portland on Saturday morning.

Prior to opening the doors for the first time, Store Manager Marc Maasseli, removed an opaque sheet of plastic covering the store’s sign to reveal “Peep Boys” instead of the familiar “Pep Boys” that the 300 customers, reporters and company executives standing outside were expecting. Read more Misspelled Sign Places Pep Boys in Hot Water

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Black Friday – The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them- BLACK FRIDAY!

Long accustomed to importing all new things American, England has finally introduced an epidemic that is proving to be every bit as bad as when the Black Plague was brought in by ships in the 1500’s. Read more Black Friday – The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success

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Medical Science Identifies Source of Chronic Left Butt Cheek Pain

In recent years, more and more males have suffered from a chronic pain in the non-facial left cheek. Now medical science has identified this left butt pain as SRCA or severe rewards card accumulation.

SRCA is a slowly developing condition brought on by the ongoing acquisition of more and more loyalty and rewards cards.

As a sufferer acquires additional pieces of plastic, his wallet grows in size to the point where it burrows into his left gluteal muscle thereby causing discomfort and pain. Read more Medical Science Identifies Source of Chronic Left Butt Cheek Pain

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UN Issues Long-term Weather Forecast

Long-term worldwide weather forecast issued by the United Nations Meteorological Agency:

Unsettled conditions expected for much of the planet for the foreseeable future. In particular, we anticipate further weather extremes in the middle eastern section of the globe.

Since a large-scale western storm hit Iraq in 2003, there have been ongoing disruptions throughout that region. Read more UN Issues Long-term Weather Forecast

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