The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (2/2)

So, here’s a selection of what we can offer readers and writers in 2017:

 

Substantially greater output…

 

While still maintaining good quality!

 

That’s not as hard as it sounds, although it does require substantial diligence and dedication.

We have a great circle of writers: some new, some old. Some yet to come! Read more The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (2/2)

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The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (1/2)

Glossy News was founded by online satire pioneer Brian K. White. Aside from writing many, many articles, and running various sites, Brian also has his own Glossy News 4K Podcast, On Youtube.

But we have had so many great writers. I myself joined Glossy News a while back, and worked  my way up. I am soon launching a channel of my own: Runnymede Video Bomb!

This is in construction, but make sure to follow it! (I already have a small number of videos on it). January will include some old classics (such as ‘9/11 Problems Jay-Z Parody’ and ‘Wall Street Interview,’) as well as some never-before-seen treasures!

Anyway: I’ve been editor for a while, and I’ve helping Brian to seek out and cultivate great new talent for our site. Whether it’s fake news satire (good old classical humor, not malicious hoaxes!); or parodies of movies, poems, novels, songs, whatever; or even some thought-provoking news commentary, whether solemnly sober, pleasantly amusing or even flat out hilarious…

Glossy News is where you want to be!

We have some big plans for the year ahead. But what does this really mean? Find out in five minutes, in instalment two of this achingly classy ‘Alternative (Humor) New Year’s Message!’

Wallace

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Psst…

Remember to save the bookmark! And we will have a great new battery of sharing icons too… very, very soon!

www.glossynews.com

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Slavoj Zizek Joins the Pervert Cinema on Youtube

Not everyone knows who Slavoj Zizek is…

But there are those who do!

It’s great to see this parody artist doing an INCREDIBLY convincing parody of Zizek’s mannerism and common phrases. Not sure whether how far the lyrical content can be considered direct quotes or even paraphrases of Zizek’s work? Some of sounds like it’s for real. Read more Slavoj Zizek Joins the Pervert Cinema on Youtube

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The Internet is Obsessing over the Trailer for Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke

Madonna may be pushing 60 years old, but that hasn’t stopped her showing yet again that she really can make a splash in the headlines!

The American singer-songwriter is probably best known for the way she’s managed to reinvent herself over the past 30 years of her career and her latest publicity drive is definitely no exception.

Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke Trailer goes Viral

Madonna is appearing on Wednesday night TV’s The Late Late Show, presented by Gavin and Stacey star James Corden, doing a rather impressive Carpool Karaoke segment, and the teaser has sent tongues wagging for all the right (and wrong!) reasons. At the time of writing, it’s #16 on the list of Trending YouTube videos. Read more The Internet is Obsessing over the Trailer for Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke

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Glossy News Revamp

Glossy News is heading towards a HUGE strategization drive! The first thing you may notice is that some of the pages at the top of the site have been removed. The site will still keep its general integrity and flavor. But any less pertinent or up to date material is being replaced with new stuff.

We really hope you will join our effots to improve this very, VERY long-running fake news and satire site! Please send any written, audio, graphic or video material to wallacerunnymede@gmail.com. If you are interested in helping us with graphics, with social media promotion, or just want to arrange a link swap or republication, or anything else you can possibly imagine, please get in touch. We’re really looking forward to expanding and making an even bigger impact and footprint upon the satire world.

In the meantime, as previously mentioned, please check out our FB page:

https://www.facebook.com/Glossy-News-821363081296896/?fref=ts

We’re looking forward to a great new year of satire. This is going to be BIG! Make sure you don’t miss out.

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Hey Hey Donald Hey: (With Apologies to Bill Frederick’s: Hey Hey LBJ)

Hey Hey Donald Hey,
How many casinos did you lose today?
Gonna file for bankruptcy and lose your dollars now, oh, boy!
Donald Trump has eager hands to grab another bargain,
She runs off and tells the mob that Donald Trump is lying!
Hey Hey Donald Hey,
How many women did you lose today?
Gonna be a felon now and go to prison now, oh, boy!

Read more Hey Hey Donald Hey: (With Apologies to Bill Frederick’s: Hey Hey LBJ)

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New Occasional Series: Glossy News Classics

As one of the very longest running fake news satire outlets of all time, Glossy News has had a lot of classics over the years. From time to time, we will be republishing stories that really stood out.

Clever? Ingenious? Edgy? Buffoonish? Anarchic? Slick, sophisticated, cool? Just good-old-fashioned hilariously convincing?

Or even unconvincing?

By whatever criteria, these are stories that stood out for us, and really shone.

Keep a close eye out for each instalment!

Wallace

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Dan Geddes Video Selection (1/2)

Dan Geddes is a true stalwart not only of Glossy News, but of humor and satire in general. He has done a lot of stand-up comedy, which you can find on his Youtube channel. I’m sure you’re not gonna die of surprise when I tell you that like every single other humorist in the history of satire, without exception, Dan is rather shy and reserved, and never likes to be the first person in the room to break an uncomfortable silence. Even so, I hope he’ll forgive me for introducing these videos to you!

Taxes and Death (And Taxes)

Taxes and death, and the taxation of the cryogenically preserved, as well as robots.

Read more Dan Geddes Video Selection (1/2)

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One Act Tumblr Play: Obama Gets Friendzoned

It’s always fun to write a One Act Tumblr Play; that particular social media site is perfect for this kind of writing! Here’s one of mine:

Obama: Hey, I really like that country, but I’m not gonna do the running. Let her come to me first.

Heh heh… I’m just such a smart guy! I am just one DAMN SMART COOKIE! Well, it’s not up to me to chase her. I’m gonna let her see how much she needs me first.

WAITS

WAITS

WAITS

WAITS

[Tittering and snickering in the background]

Obama: … Oh. Shit. Well. What a prissy, stuck-up bitch! Guess she just doesn’t know what she’s missing.

Read more One Act Tumblr Play: Obama Gets Friendzoned

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Latest Populist Policies Carrying Trump to Victory (2/2)

4. BAN STUPID MUSIC FROM CLUBS!!! 

Why can’t we just have the clubs play proper music that you can actually dance and sing to? Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, I mean, hell, even Creedence Clearwater Revival, just throwing that one out there!

I mean, I couldn’t care less, but we just have to do something! How much longer are the American people gonna have to put up with this?

You know what, you’re sick and tired of it, I’m sick and tired of it too. Let’s put an end to this and put a stop to all this pathetic, ridiculous music, once and for all! Freedom of speech doesn’t mean your stupid tunes have to be heard by just about everyone! That’s not what America is all about!

(Sheesh! That ‘freedom of speech demands accountability’ schtick sounded like a Clinton thing, right? Well, I’ve given money to Democrats too. You know, I’m not a dogmatic kinda guy!)

Read more Latest Populist Policies Carrying Trump to Victory (2/2)

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Conspiracy Theories – The Website For The Well Informed Paranoiac

Conspiracy Theories is the hard hitting website that isn’t afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon the general publicum. We are here because you need us! We are ever vigilant against those evil people, organizations, nations and cultures that are out to handicap and repress our great American lifestyle.

The following are the dark, sinister plots we have uncovered this week:

Conspiracy Theory # 3,482- Valiant researchers have discovered that dentists around the world have been weaving minute, low grade diamonds into the threads of dental floss for years.

These small specks of the hardest mineral known to man slowly erode the base of teeth with each flossing, eventually leading to the destruction of the enamel protecting their sensitive core. Read more Conspiracy Theories – The Website For The Well Informed Paranoiac

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Glossy News Spam Surge: Establishment ‘Godwinbots’ to Blame (2/2)

As every establishment career politician knows, repetition is of the essence of persuasion.

So, here’s a quick refresher on what the Godwinbots afflicting Glossy News and most of the serious internet are up to.

Unpatriotic Pinko Troll Example #1:

 Goering said ‘all you have to do is create a fictional or at least semi-fictional enemy within and without, and then bring the people to your bidding to denounce the naysayers as traitors and parasites.’ Sound familiar?

 Godwinbot Takedown:

 StfUP_ with ur MORREL E-EQUIVALENC, DUDE! Y;U are literilly worse tanh HITTLERRR!!!!!

Read more Glossy News Spam Surge: Establishment ‘Godwinbots’ to Blame (2/2)

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Glossy News Spam Surge: Establishment ‘Godwinbots’ to Blame (1/2)

The loyal vigilance of the Glossy News team is keeping your comments pages free from spam, from dawn to dusk.

Glossy News is at the forefront of taking out spambots whenever and wherever they poke their thieving, parasitical tentacles.

But what is it that drives these cynical, malevolent bastards, the true enemies of all authentic and legitimate satire? Read more Glossy News Spam Surge: Establishment ‘Godwinbots’ to Blame (1/2)

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