Archive | Comics

Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)

Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)

It’s a question nearly as old as the one about the chicken. Why did the hipster cross the road?

Surely it wasn’t to get a better deal on a pair of pre-worn, faded slacks. Surely it wasn’t because there was a coffee shop on the other side of the road that was less trendy than the one he was already at. So what was the reason? Continue Reading

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Atheists Offer Their Own Sunday Service (comic)

Atheists Offer Their Own Sunday Service (comic)

The Christians seem to feel they have an exclusive on morality, though the stats don’t bear it out. Why don’t the atheists hold their own Sunday service to preach whatever it is they do or do not believe in… well, maybe that can happen.

When it comes to questions of immortality, it seems the non-theists hold the advantage. Christians believe in a a life eternal, but fight like hell to avoid going there, no matter how pious their lives may have been.

So why not live it up a bit for the here and now. Why not make a community around reason, rather than Bedouin folklore and total superstition? Continue Reading

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How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)

How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)

If a tree falls and blah blah blah whatever does it meh who cares? Age old question with no good answers. Let’s face it, all of them are wrong.

But when the same question applies to a hipster, apparently there’s a whole new dimension to it. Mind you, it’s an incredibly shallow dimension, but the principle still applies, technically, I’m told. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Internets Tubes1 Comment

Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)

Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)

We’ve all been there. We’ve all asked our co-worker for an ounce of advice, and in too many cases, the question is misunderstood. This comic speaks precisely to that.

Click on the image to see it full-sized.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

7-picked-up-fuzz1

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Posted in Comics, Crime1 Comment

Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)

Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)

This comic was inspired by an actual conversation my mother had with actual missionaries about three decades ago.

She was feisty then, she’s still a pain in my ass now, but none of that means anything in comparison to the greatness of heaven offered by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Religionism2 Comments

How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)

How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)

It’s a non-sequitur from the word “don’t go,” but apparently it’s been asked, so we’ll address it. How much do five hipsters weigh?

Surely this is the pressing question of our time, and one that deserves front-page news attention, even though it’s just a setup for a series of jokes at the expense of hipsters… well, at least they’re not real people. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Science1 Comment

Extreme Couponing… It’s called Shoplifting (comic)

Extreme Couponing… It’s called Shoplifting (comic)

If you’ve ever wondered the best way to squeeze a few nickels out of your local retailer, there’s no better way than shoplifting. Sure you might go to jail over a $1.87 sample size of Jergins, but usually you’ll just damn the man.

This comic shows all the benefits and potential detriments, I assume. I haven’t actually read it. I find the comics on this site crass, so I don’t actually take the time to look at them. They’re a bit beneath me. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Strange People1 Comment

Why was the boxer so funny? (comic)

Why was the boxer so funny? (comic)

Kids love to tell jokes in only two varieties; dumb and inappropriate. The one sadly falls into the “dumb” category, but hopefully redeems itself in the fourth act.

This is a fine example of why we shouldn’t leave jokes to children. Sure, they come up with the odd, random chuckle, but in the end, they really don’t know what they’re talking about.

And if this joke is any indication, they also have no command of a punch line.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

36-funny-boxer

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Posted in Comics, Sportsfolk1 Comment

Myths No Match for Wikipedia, Despite Wikipedia (comic)

Myths No Match for Wikipedia, Despite Wikipedia (comic)

Follow up on the previous one in this installment. Ever heard something that was just too juicy to not be true? You don’t have to let it lie there, facts be damned, just add it to Wikipedia and see if it sticks.

Before you know it you’ll be an expert in whichever field of imaginary expertise you set out to conquer.

This cartoon deals with a pattern of willful misinformation.

This is in reference to yesterday’s comic How the Scan-Tron Actually Got Its Name.

40-wikipedia-lies

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Comics1 Comment

How the Scan-Tron Actually Got Its Name (comic)

How the Scan-Tron Actually Got Its Name (comic)

We’ve all been there. You had to use a #2 pencil, as if any other option was available at the store, and fill in the bubbles completely.

But do you know the origin of the test? Do you know how it actually got its name? The answer may surprise you.

The answer may also not surprise you. It’s kind of up to you.

This is a preface to tomorrow’s comic Myths No Match for Wikipedia, Despite Wikipedia.

39-scant-ron

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Posted in Comics, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Age Old Joke Takes Dark Turn; Escalates Quickly (COMIC)

Age Old Joke Takes Dark Turn; Escalates Quickly (COMIC)

You know the age-old joke, “Why is 6 afraid of 7.” Well what happens when the smart-ass kid you’re telling it to already knows the joke?

Well apparently, you ruin their childhood.

CLICK on the image to see the cartoon full-sized.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Posted in Comics, Kidz Zone3 Comments

Bible Study: Let’s Murder Some Kids (comic)

Bible Study: Let’s Murder Some Kids (comic)

The Bible isn’t just an all-time best-seller, it’s a work of wonder, mystery and incredible tragedy.

The Bible doesn’t just tell us how to live our lives, but also tell us how we should never, ever, ever live our lives. It has passages of unbelievable savagery, assuming you believe any of the grace of it in the first place.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

These are all legitimate passages from the Bible (with citations.) So before you pray for an easy commute or fair weather, consider asking your god why he was such an unbelievable dick to those who came before you. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Religionism2 Comments

There Is(n’t) No Morality w/o the Bible (comic)

There Is(n’t) No Morality w/o the Bible (comic)

The argument is everywhere. Without the Bible, there would be no morality. Well that’s obviously untrue, since atheists are disproportionately absent in jails.

Blame that on the lack of education of many Evangelicals (especially the home-schooled crowd) if you like, but you’ve got an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful being on your side. We just have science. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Religionism2 Comments

Travesty of Virginia Deeming Sodomy Legal (comic)

Travesty of Virginia Deeming Sodomy Legal (comic)

Virginia may ostensibly be for lovers, but recent legislation sought to restrict exactly which kinds of love that could be. Specifically, they wished to ban sodomy.

This would mean no oral varieties or hinterlands sorts, but the bill was struck down. According to this comic, not everyone is happy with the decision, though perhaps not for the reasons you’d imagine. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Crime2 Comments

Why did the hipster boycott the solar eclipse? (comic)

Why did the hipster boycott the solar eclipse? (comic)

Kind of a hard thing to boycott, an act of nature such as that. I guess you can bury your head in the sand and just pretend it didn’t happen, but why would you? A question only a hipster could answer.

I boycott tampons. I don’t use them and I refuse to buy them. They’ll get none of my money… but a solar eclipse? What’s not to like about that? What’s even to debate about that? It either happens or it doesn’t, and it kind of does, boycott or no. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Science1 Comment

Wife Fails to Give Doves to Priest, Damned (comic)

Wife Fails to Give Doves to Priest, Damned (comic)

Ever wondered what girls learn when they go off to a separate class while you’re busy learning about resisting the temptation to masturbate yourself blind? They’re learning about why their girly things happen, and you don’t want to know about it.

They possess the most amazing thing in the history of mankind, but it is disgusting in ways you could never imagine. It does things that are yicky, things that are gross, and things that would make you barf up your breakfast in about five seconds. Continue Reading

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Posted in Comics, Religionism1 Comment

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