Author: P. Beckert
Michaele Salahi Snorts Smack n’ Crack to Get Back on Celebrity Rehab
Michaele Salahi was recently kicked off the reality show Celebrity Rehab due to the fact that she couldn’t produce a discernable addiction. Now, her husband Tareq has threatened to sue if they don’t take her back. The Salahis claim that…
Rush Limbaugh Dropped on Head at Birth According to Unauthorized Biography
A writer working on the unauthorized biography of conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has released a very important piece of information that may explain the idiotic statements that Limbaugh often makes on his daily radio show. Recent comments…
Scott Walker Declares Himself a Wisconsin Hero
Scott Walker defines a hero as “someone who, against all odds, does what is necessary to fight evil in the world.” And so it is that Walker believes that he is doing the right thing by making sure teachers don’t…
Sarah Palin Seeks Charity to Pay for Kids’ Braces
Sarah Palin recently went on Fox News and publicly admitted that she could use some help in paying for her kids’ dental expenses. “Do you even know how much a set of braces costs these days?” asked Palin as she…
Lindsay Lohan Opts to Spend Time at Charlie Sheen’s Rehab Center
Lindsay Lohan appeared before Judge Keith Schwartz in Los Angeles today to find out whether or not she’ll be going to jail on charges of stealing a $2500 necklace or if she’ll be granted a new trial before another judge….
Scott Walker Begs Koch Brothers to Release Him from Pact
While Scott Walker says he doesn’t want to compare his relationship with the Koch Brothers as being akin to selling your soul to the devil, seeing as he’s a devout Christian and all, his friends say he is feeling the…
Jon Cryer Moves in With Charlie Sheen
Newly divorced and jobless, Jon Cryer has rented a U-Haul and begun the process of moving in with Charlie Sheen and the goddesses. Asked if he wasn’t happily married just last week when we interviewed him, Cryer replied, “Well, yeah,…
National Tea Party Unwittingly Aligns Itself with California Pot Growers Association
An unlikely partnership has formed between some very conservative-thinking patriots and a group of stoners who could care less about any politics unless, of course, they involve the legalization of marijuana. How it happened, no one is really certain, but…
Bigfoot Activity Heightened During Solar Flare Event
Mt. Clemens, MICHIGAN – The city of Mt. Clemens, Michigan is once again in the news for Bigfoot sightings as it seems that several citizens have phoned the local police station claiming to have witnessed what they believe are large,…
Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem
Christina Aguilera has had enough of the criticism for her flubbing the Star-Spangled Banner during this year’s Super Bowl. She claims that only a handful of Americans actually know all the words to the ‘incredibly difficult and outdated’ song and…