Author: noseybonk
Patraeus Regrets Affair, Mainly “Getting Found Out”
Former CIA director David Patraeus has confided that he deeply regrets much about his affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, but chief among his regrets is that the affair was discovered and made public. “He regrets that affair on so many…
Romney to Sway Female Voters by Showing Compassion, Penis
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today unveiled his new plan to persuade female voters to back his bid for the White House by showing them two things that have thus far remained firmly hidden: his compassionate, caring side and his…
Hacker McKinnon Facing Extradition to Jabba the Hutt’s Planet
British computer hacker Gary McKinnon, whose extradition to the US was blocked on humanitarian grounds by UK Home Secretary Theresa May today, now faces a prospect nearly as terrifying: being sent for punishment on the alien planet of Tatooine. McKinnon…
Bin Laden’s Home Video “Bloopers” Found
Among the hoard of video footage found in Osama Bin Laden’s hideout were a number of out-takes and blooper tapes, it was revealed today. These tapes are a mixture of mistakes by Bin Laden himself while talking directly to camera…
Campaigning underway in Al Qaeda leadership race
ISLAMABAD – [Glossy News] – The recent demise of Osama Bin Laden has left a vacuum at the heart of Al Qaeda, the world’s foremost terrorist organization. There is no shortage of ambitious would-be Public Enemy Number One’s to fill…