Author: Brian White
Keith Olbermann Signed to Exclusive 2-Yr Deal with Glossy News
The erstwhile MSNBC reporter agreed to our admittedly paltry terms after a termination of an undisclosed nature. He was drawn to Glossy News by our willingness to pay for premium coffee in the break room, as well as our near…
Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ; McCain Really Lacks a Clue
This week senator John McCain really threw down. No, not his teeth or dignity, those have both been forsaken since 2000. No this week he threw down with the crazy, and even for a die-hard republican, he ante’d up the…
Sundance Darling Catfish Thrilling, Suspenseful, and an Obvious Hoax
The 2010 surprise Sundance hit was a film called Catfish, a tale of an internet relationship gone horrible sideways. Apparently the name “Sideways” was already taken, and since the producers didn’t want to just declare it an outright hoax, they…
Palin Supporter Reloads
Arizona Democrat Gabrielle Giffords, representative from one of Sarah Palin’s “crosshairs” districts, has been shot. Good work, crazy people, I’m sure this will do much for your cause of not being considered crazy.
Pete Postlethwaite Takes Final Bow
If you’ve ever seen a movie, then you’ve seen the late, great Pete Postlethwaite. It was announced today that curtains have finally been called on the greatest performance of his life – that of his life itself. Postlethwaite had been…
USDA Faces Mounting Pressure to Bail Out Portugal
Economists are questioning why the United States Department of Agriculture would be called on to bail out a foriegn, soveriegn nation, but at the same time, representatives from the USDA have said that “The $14 billion requested only constitutes a…
Younger Palin Comes in “Almost First” Like Mother, Thanks to Gerrymandering
The thick-thighed mistress of spin was served something of a vindication this week, as the hit reality show “Dancing With the Stars” finally succeeded in ousting her daughter from the position she never rightly should have held. Clever vote-rigging and…
NAMBLA Announces Strong Support of TSA Pat-Down Policy
Spokesman asks, “What? I don’t see the problem.”
American Socialism Prevails: Olbermann Resumes Propaganda Tuesday
Known socialist and sanctioned MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann has been handed his greatest defeat in decades; a week at home with his family… without pay!
Christine O’Donnell Camp Considering Concession
Only three days after election day, and a mere 9-weeks after her crusade for a senate seat lost its luster, Christine O’Donnell, who has cast her spell on many voters around the good state of Delaware, is now considering conceding…