Dateline: D.C.— Under federal hate crime laws, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has targeted both critics and supporters of President Trump, for “abusing a mentally incompetent old man,” according to a spokesperson for Mr. Mueller’s office.
“If you saw a physically disabled person and instead of helping her out, you berated her ruthlessly or else lured into making a fool of herself, you could easily foul afoul of hate speech laws,” said the spokesperson.
Reporter: As your Number One priority tell us what you are going to do about immigration.
Trump: Who said it was Number One? Better parking near my Trump Towers is my number one priority. Damn media bias.
Reporter: But the wall?
Trump: To tell the truth I don’t like immigrants.
Reporter: Why is that?
Trump: There are too many of them, and they come from some other country.
Reporter: But they are immigrants.
Trump: That’s no excuse. They should just stay home.
Reporter: Who would do the jobs they do like pick ferns I just read about?
Trump: Anybody can pick ferns. What’s so hard about that? I have hired a lot of people
to pick ferns around my properties.
Reporter: But, generally they do a lot of jobs Americans won’t do.
Trump: I doubt that. I’ll have my new Secretary of the Interior, what’s-his-name, look
Reporter: So what is your position on immigration?
Trump: Who me?
Reporter: Who else am I talking to?
Trump: I’ll give you five free nights in Trump Towers, and maybe some extra perks,
dinner, dancing… if you get what I mean, if we can just drop this whole thing.
Reporter: No, the people want to know.
Trump: Well, I’ll tell you the truth… I believe in the truth, you know. You can write that
down. Not like that Kenyan Muslim… I don’t want them here. We’ve already got plenty
Reporter: But they really want to come here. They will make good Americans.
Trump: They will make lousy Americans. Look, I don’t like foreigners. They should just
Reporter: Overall, they will help the economy.
Trump: Not on your life. They send all their money back to Mexico.
Reporter: But Americans are immigrants. They all came here from somewhere else.
Trump: Well, Europe, maybe, but they aren’t foreigners.
Reporter: What about America as the great melting pot?
Trump: They don’t melt. Most of them can’t even speak English.
Reporter: Who’s going to clean your house?
Trump: If I can’t get anyone else to do it I’ll make my wife do it. She obeys me.
Reporter: So you think a wall will work?
Trump: Look, I’ve built far more things than you have even seen, four eyes, and get a prettier
blouse. Stop with the silly questions. Of course it will work. I’m the greatest builder the world
has ever known. THE GREATEST!
Your romantic success does not depend on anyone but you.
If that sounds scary, even cripplingly scary, it’s not.
It’s the most beautiful thing in the world.
Because from here on in, it really is up to you.
I do understand this all sounds very easy to say, and I want you all to know I am sincere when I acknowledge that. But those who say they are on the very gutter of the love market are generally false prophets, who are soothsaying a purely self-fulfilling prophecy.
For years, animal testing has come under significant scrutiny due to the supposedly “inhumane” nature of the process. PETA has long opposed what has been referred to as a “barbaric” set of actions designed to enhance company profits at the risk of endangering the health and safety of innocent animals.
Yet after years of silencing the animals they were speaking for, PETA has now been rebuked by the very population they had claimed to be protecting.