Animals Furious at PETA for Campaigning Against Testing Cosmetics Products on Them

For years, animal testing has come under significant scrutiny due to the supposedly “inhumane” nature of the process. PETA has long opposed what has been referred to as a “barbaric” set of actions designed to enhance company profits at the risk of endangering the health and safety of innocent animals.

Yet after years of silencing the animals they were speaking for, PETA has now been rebuked by the very population they had claimed to be protecting.

“Curious” George Bananagobbles, spokesman for Pro-Animal Cosmetics Testing (PACT), and well-known celebrity monkey, has finally offered up the stance of the animal population on the exercise of cosmetics testing on the animal population.

“For years, we have benefitted from free and effective cosmetics products. Our female animal population has enjoyed the opportunity to enhance their beauty at such a low cost. Our male population has long appreciated the augmented appearances of their spouses who are being provided with cheap access to beauty products. PETA is blatantly trying to limit our access as animals to affordable beauty products, which will likely lead to an increased financial burden on animals who seek to beautify themselves. It’s time that PETA stopped silencing the animal population, and that we finally be heard.”

If “Curious” George’s claims are true, then it would indicate that PETA has for years been falsely operating under the guise of animal rights protectors. In fact, it would seem that while PETA has criticized cosmetics companies for inhumane testing methods, these same companies are in fact trying to bring affordable products to the animal population. On the contrary, PETA has advocated for methods that would bring significantly more limited access to beauty products for these animals.

PETA is spelling it out plainly: animals don’t deserve the same opportunities to enhance their physical appearances as humans.

This blatant denial of animal rights is the most inhumane practice of them all.

Author: MC Cammer