Save the Whales VS Save the Seals Turns Violent

The Save the Whales and Save the Seals organizations squared off today in a violent confrontation that threatens to destroy both organizations.

Save the Seals spokesperson Sheila Gruber said the problem is, whales eat seals. By trying to save the whales they are destroying the entire seal population.

Meanwhile, Save the Whales spokesperson Jason Marlette claims the Save the Seals people are trying to starve the whales to death.

“We must get rid of those nasty whales to prevent our beloved seals from becoming extinct!” Gruber stated.

“I might suggest those stupid seals just start reproducing at a faster rate so the Orca can have some food!” Marlette retorted.

At this point Gruber and Marlette started fist fighting and smashing signs over the others head. Gruber gained the upper hand when she poked Marlette in the eye with a pamphlet. Other members of the two organizations joined in and a melee ensued resulting in broken bones, bruises and bloodshed as police officers were called in.

“We have arrested the two spokespeople from the different organizations”, police sergeant John Malley stated to the press.

Each organization said they would sue the other.


Top-12 Reasons Mitt Romney Will Win the Election

With the election heating up and the polls wiggling more and more every day (in favor of Barack Obama), we have to look ever more closely at the race.

The good news is that, at least according to a couple polls, the race is tied, and Mitt Romney could easily pull it out and win this thing. The better news is that, according to all the real polls, Obama is crushing it. Read more Top-12 Reasons Mitt Romney Will Win the Election


Romney Schedules Debate to Convince Country He is Still Running

WASHINGTON D.C.- Political insiders have confirmed that not only is republican candidate, Mitt Romney, debating president Obama on Wednesday, but he is still running for president.

Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan met a group of supporters for a fund raiser, announcing that they will still be in the running for the white house all the way up until November 6th.

“People can’t count us out until the election is over,” explains Matt Rhodes, campaign advisor to Mitt Romney.

“I know the country wouldn’t quite pick that up over the past couple of weeks, but we have been hard at work over in the Romney camp trying to adequately prepare a game plan to let America know that we are here until election day.” Read more Romney Schedules Debate to Convince Country He is Still Running