Moggxodus: An Ode to Britain’s Prophet, & Our Future Exodus from Brussels!

Cometh the hour, cometh the man!
Time to break free from the Brussels Taliban!
Don’t drop the cognac, a hangover’s coming…
Guy and Jean-Claude, now they better start running!
No more bent bananas and made up oppressions
No more censorship and manufactured microaggressions
We will be manufacturing half the world
Now shut up and let us get on with your Exodus, you little turds!

I did say ‘your,’ when I could have said ‘our,’
Our country is heading for a windfall shower
Of trade and bounty with half the world
Every coastline sees our valiant flag unfurled

Our Empire will not be built with blood, or iron
We’re sick of centrist warmongers always lying
Our prophet Moggses brings our peace through strength
Half the world, then, we shall pacify, at length

400 years we’ve built the tombs of torment
The whips of Pharaoh buffeted our daughters
Gathering dry straw, the arrogance of the Pharaohs
Led our bravest sons unto the slaughter

But hark, the light of day upon the sphinx!
Her wicked riddles, disenchanted, flood away
Ten Plagues are coming, that’s why we need a prophet
To shield us, from the fiery vengeance of The Day…


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