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UK’s National Union of Students Declare Holocaust Verboten (2/2)

UK’s National Union of Students Declare Holocaust Verboten (2/2)

Here are some responses to yesterday’s National Union of Students statement on why Holocaust commemoration should be verboten at UK universities. But unfortunately, these responses do not seem to cohere very well with a quote from a notable NUS correspondent…

Which latter passionately assured me that the NUS exists to represent the interests of all students, and to permit students to have a voice and express their views, so that a healthy atmosphere of campaigning and discussion can be maintained. Still, let’s hear from some real students instead!

Sara, a student of art from Israel, suggested a more objective approach:

I like the little bit about Wikipedia crashing. Anyway, it’s easy for these people to moralise about Israel from the outside.
So if they actually came to Israel and got to meet a wide variety of people and see the place from the inside, they could get a more nuanced view. But that would be a little mainstream and dusty, wouldn’t it!

Lucie, a physics student from France who is hearing impaired, drew a historical precedent.

The Nazis also tried to stifle dissent regarding their views and policies on disability. Bronze eagles of a feather flock together, it seems.

Ahmed, a British student of literature from a Palestinian Muslim family, was unhappy with being talked down to by the conspicuously benevolent NUS:

This is absolute bollocks.
I’m a Muslim, I don’t have a problem with gay people, and some of my Muslim fellow students are actively involved in LGBT rights.
I know a woman at one of the UK unis, who is also a Muslim, and who is in a relationship with a woman from Saudia Arabia who is seeking asylum.
And now this NUS motion makes her afraid to express her own views at uni!
So who the hell do these NUS tossers think they are? And who gave them the right to speak for us? And who are the real imperialists here?
So, you can be a Muslim and express your views, as long as you agree with the NUS party line? They’re just full of shit!
Oh, and my parents are Palestinians, and our whole family despises Hamas for killing innocent civilians. Hamas don’t represent all Palestinians. And they sure as hell don’t represent us!
I mean, I presume I am still allowed to say that, right? I do hope I don’t need to ask the NUS for permission?!

My aforementioned achingly enlightened NUS contact, Marquis Flobadob Goebbels Zinoviev of New Siberia, responded:

What? OMG! I just can’t believe how that Ahmed, that cynical, pretentious, neocon fellow-traveller, is literally selling out his own people!

I also contacted a Hamas spokesperson (or more precisely, “spokesman,”) who said:

Ha! More useful idiots at the NUS! You know, the good thing about useful idiots is that they really are kind of convenient for us.
But funnily enough, ahhh, what they don’t realise is that if they were ever travelling on a bus in Palestine, I wouldn’t hesitate for one miniscule little moment to blow the living shite out of them, and send their charred and shredded remnants home in a box to their weeping families.
Or in fairness, more like their “not-so-weeping families.” They’re probably sick of the sight of them by now.

Marquis Flobadob responded:

Well, I guess, I mean…
I mean, I’m maybe not, perhaps, entirely, you know, 100% in agreement with that Hamas informant… maybe.

Still, you can understand why they are angry, right? I can’t really blame him for wanting to blow me up in the name of a noble cause.
I mean, if I were him, I’d probably feel exactly the same way!


This post was written by

- who has written 367 posts on

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter)


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